What is repentance? Leaving the past and sadness about it.
Repentance is the door of mercy, open to those who earnestly seek it. Through this door we enter into God's mercy; Apart from this entrance we will not find mercy.
Saint Basil the Great:
The surest sign by which every repentant sinner can find out whether his sins are truly forgiven by God is when we feel such hatred and disgust from all sins that we would rather agree to die than to arbitrarily sin before the Lord.
Venerable John Climacus:
A sign of remission of sins is that a person always considers himself a debtor to God.
Venerable Thalassius:
Forgiveness of sins is freedom from passions, and whoever has not been freed from them by grace has not yet received forgiveness.
Venerable Silouan of Athos:
This is the sign of the forgiveness of sins: if you hated sin, then the Lord forgave you your sins.
Venerable Macarius the Great:
The work of repentance is accomplished by three virtues: 1) purification of thoughts; 2) unceasing prayer; 3) patience with the sorrows that befall us.
Rev. Peter Damascene:
Then the mind begins to see its sins - like the sand of the sea, and this is the beginning of the enlightenment of the soul and a sign of its health. And simply: the soul becomes contrite and the heart humble, and considers itself truly lower than everyone...
Abba Paphnutius:
We must not forget venial sins, but only not remember mortal ones..
However, only mortal sins need to be forgotten in this way; disposition towards them and repentance for them ceases with a virtuous life. As for minor sins, into which even a righteous man falls seven times a day (Proverbs 24:16), repentance for them should never cease; for we do them every day, willingly or unwillingly, sometimes out of ignorance, sometimes out of oblivion, in thought and in word, sometimes out of deception, sometimes out of inevitable infatuation or out of weakness of the flesh. David speaks about such sins, begging the Lord to cleanse and forgive: who looks at his own sins? Cleanse me from my secrets (Ps. 18:13), and the Apostle Paul: I do not do what I want, but what I hate, I do. Poor man I am! who will deliver me from this body of death? (Rom. 7, 15, 24). We are exposed to them with such ease that, despite all caution, we cannot completely avoid them. Christ’s beloved disciple says this about them: if we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves (1 John 1:8). Therefore, it will not be of much benefit to someone who wants to achieve the highest perfection to complete repentance, that is, to refrain from unauthorized deeds, if he does not tirelessly practice those virtues that serve as proof of satisfaction for sins. For it is not enough to abstain from vile vices that are contrary to God if there is not pure, perfect and godly zeal for virtue.
If by repentance we want to please the Lord and save our soul, to achieve freedom from sins and passions, we must repent from the depths of our soul, thoroughly, comprehensively, firmly, willingly, because in its depths all our sins nest and take root - selfishness, carnal pleasure, lust. , gluttony, gluttony, laziness, self-pity, pride, conceit, arrogance, humiliation of others, envy, hostility, hatred, malice, malice, lust, fornication, uncleanness, waywardness, self-indulgence, disobedience, disobedience, rudeness, insolence, severity, obstinacy of character , doubt, unbelief, lack of faith, indifference in faith, ingratitude, greed, hard-heartedness, stinginess, greed, greed, sneaking, deceit, deceit, slander, perjury, deity, perjury, hypocrisy, partiality, bribery, pickiness, oppression, extortion, theft , theft, appropriation of someone else's, abuse, indulgence and indulgence, indulgence, vain passing of time, games, idle talk, idle talk, foul language, vanity, luxury, extravagance, ill will, malice, gloating, rancor, coldness, negligence, carelessness in prayer and others affairs - disrespect for old age, disobedience to parents and superiors, treachery and infidelity; inconsistency in virtue, frivolity, vanity, vanity, timidity, despondency, cowardice, hopelessness and despair; anger, irritation, impudence with a hand or hitting the face and other members; passion for reading empty or seductive books - negligence in reading St. the Gospels and books of spiritual, religious content in general, inventing excuses for one’s sins and self-justification instead of self-condemnation and self-accusation; passionate kisses or kisses, passionate touching, caressing; omissions, dishonest performance of official duties, negligence and haste; failure to fulfill the oath, embezzlement or theft of government property; arson, incitement to evil; murder, destruction of the conceived fetus in the womb, poisoning, gaze of the eyes and damage to one's neighbor, curses on one's neighbor, curses; – seduction into sects and schisms, dissemination of false and blasphemous opinions or teachings; superstition, fortune telling, spiritualism or talking with spirits, hypnotism or soporific and talking with a euthanized person in order to find out some secret from him.
To repent means to feel in your heart the lie, madness, and guilt of your sins; it means to realize that you have offended your Creator, Lord, Father and Benefactor, who is infinitely holy and infinitely abhors sin; with all your soul you want to correct and atone for them.
St. rights John of Kronstadt:
A terrible truth. Unrepentant sinners after death lose all opportunity to change for the better and, therefore, invariably remain devoted to eternal torment (sin cannot but torment). How to prove this? This is clearly proven by the present state of some sinners and the property of sin itself - to hold a person in captivity and block all outcomes for him. Who does not know how difficult it is without the special grace of God to turn a sinner from his beloved path of sin to the path of virtue! How deeply sin takes root in the heart of the sinner and throughout his entire being, how it gives the sinner its vision, which sees things completely differently than how they are in its essence, appearing to him in some kind of charming form. Therefore, we see that sinners very often do not think about their conversion and do not consider themselves great sinners, because self-love and pride blind their eyes; if they consider themselves sinners, then they indulge in hellish despair, which spreads deep darkness in their minds and greatly hardens their hearts. If it were not for the grace of God, which sinner would turn to God, since the property of sin is to darken us, to bind us hand and foot. But the time and place for the action of grace is only here: after death, only the prayers of the Church can act on repentant sinners, on those who have acceptance in their souls, the light of good deeds, carried away by them from this life, into which the grace of God can be grafted or the grace-filled prayers of the Church. Unrepentant Sinners Are Certain Sons of Perdition. What does experience tell me when I am captured by sin? Sometimes I just suffer all day long and cannot convert with all my heart, because sin hardens me, making God’s mercy inaccessible to me: I burn in fire and voluntarily remain in it, because sin has bound my strength and I am like someone chained internally. - I cannot turn to God until God, seeing my powerlessness and my humility, and my tears, has mercy on me and sends me His grace! It is not for nothing that a person given over to sins is called bound by the captivity of the Falls [cf. 2 Pet. 2, 4].
Saint John Chrysostom:
When you sin, cry and groan not because you will be punished, for this means nothing; but that you have insulted your Master, Who is so meek, loves you so much, cares so much about your salvation, that He betrayed His Son for you. This is what you should cry and moan about, and cry incessantly. For this is what confession consists of. Don’t be happy today, sad tomorrow, then happy again. On the contrary, constantly cry and lament.
Venerable Nikon of Optina:
Repentance requires renunciation of addictions and distractions. Falsely blessed calmness is self-delusion. Without repentance and crying, an attentive life does not bear any good fruit. It is necessary to pay attention to oneself; heart disease and contrition are necessary.
Saint Ignatius Brianchaninov:
In repentance all the commandments of God are combined. Repentance is the consciousness of one’s fall, which has made human nature indecent, defiled, and therefore constantly in need of a Redeemer.
Reproach yourself, reproach your weak will... You will find consolation in blaming yourself. Blame yourself and condemn yourself, and God will justify you and have mercy on you.
St. Theophan the Recluse:
What especially makes the sacrament of repentance necessary is, on the one hand, the property of sin, and on the other, the property of our conscience. When we sin, we think that not only outside of us, but also within ourselves there are no traces of sin. Meanwhile, he leaves deep traces both in us and outside of us - on everything that surrounds us, and especially in heaven, in the definitions of Divine justice. At the hour of sin, it is decided there what the sinner has become: in the book of the belly he is included in the list of those condemned - and has become bound in heaven. Divine grace will not descend into him until he is erased from the list of those condemned in heaven, until he receives permission there. But God was pleased to make heavenly permission - to make heavenly erasing from the list of the condemned dependent on the permission of those bound by sins on earth. So, accept the Sacrament of Repentance in order to receive comprehensive permission and open the entrance to the spirit of grace. ... Go and confess - and you will receive an announcement of forgiveness from God ...
... This is where the Savior truly reveals Himself as the Comforter of the weary and burdened! He who has sincerely repented and confessed through experience knows this truth with his heart, and does not accept it by faith alone.
Do not let the shame and fear that find you confuse you - they are associated with this sacrament for your good. Having burned out in them, you will become stronger morally. You have already burned more than once in the fire of repentance - burn again. Then you burned alone before God and conscience, and now burn with a witness appointed by God, as evidence of the sincerity of that solitary burning, and perhaps to make up for its incompleteness. There will be a trial and there will be shame and desperate fear. Shame and fear in confession atone for the shame and fear of that time. If you don't want those, go over these. Moreover, it always happens that as the anxiety that the person confessing goes through, the consolations of confession also become abundant in him. This is where the Savior truly reveals Himself as the Comforter of the weary and burdened! He who has sincerely repented and confessed through experience knows this truth with his heart, and does not accept it by faith alone.
The story about blessed Theodora, who went through ordeal, says that her evil accusers did not find the sins she confessed written down in their charters. The angels then explained to her that confession blots out sin from all places where it is indicated. Neither in the book of conscience, nor in the book of the animal, nor among these evil destroyers is he already listed as that person - confession has erased these records. Without concealment, throw away everything that weighs you down. The limit to which you must bring the revelation of your sins is so that your spiritual father has an accurate understanding of you, so that he represents you as you are, and, when resolving, he is resolving you, and not someone else, so that when he says: “ Forgive and absolve the repentant for the same sins he committed,” - there was nothing left in you that did not fit these words.
Conversations on the spiritual life of an Orthodox Christian (practice of Orthodoxy)
TALK CYCLE 1 “BEING A CHRISTIAN”
TOPIC 1.4 “Repentance, or what God says”
QUESTIONS:
Holy Scripture and the Holy Fathers about repentance.
The place of repentance in a person’s spiritual life. What is repentance?
What difficulties does a person encounter on the path of repentance?
Scripture, holy fathers and theologians about Repentance.
- “In those days John the Baptist comes and preaches in the desert of Judea and says: Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” (Matt. 3:1-2)
- “From that time Jesus began to preach and say: repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” (Matt. 4:17)
- “After John was betrayed, Jesus came to Galilee, preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God and saying that the time is fulfilled and the kingdom of God is at hand: repent and believe in the gospel.” (Mark 1:14-15)
-“Create fruit worthy of repentance” (Matt. 3:8)
- “The beginning of turning to Christ lies in the knowledge of one’s sinfulness, one’s fall; from such a view of himself, a person recognizes the need for a Redeemer and approaches Christ through humility, faith and repentance,” “He who is not aware of his sinfulness, his fall, his destruction cannot accept Christ, cannot believe in Christ, cannot be a Christian. What is Christ for someone who is both reasonable and virtuous, who is satisfied with himself, who recognizes himself as worthy of all earthly and heavenly rewards?” (St. Ignatius Brianchaninov)
-“The Lord said: “Repent and believe in the Gospel” (Mark 1:14). True repentance is not just regret for sins committed, but a complete turning of one’s soul from darkness to light, from earth to heaven, from oneself to God. (One hundred words about the love of truth, St. Nicholas of Serbia )
- “True repentance is to realize your sins, experience pain for them, ask God for forgiveness and then confess. In this way, divine consolation will come to a person. That's why I always recommend repentance and confession to people. I never recommend confession alone." "For a person who struggles, repentance - endless needlework" (St. Paisiy Svyatogorets)
“Repentance, without a doubt, is the basis of spiritual life. The Gospel testifies to this. The Forerunner and Baptist of the Lord John began his sermon with the words: “ » (Matt. 3:2). Our Lord Jesus Christ comes out into public service with exactly the same call (see: Matt. 4:17 ). Without repentance, it is impossible to draw closer to God and overcome your sinful inclinations. The Lord gave us a great gift - confession, in which we are absolved from our sins, for the priest is endowed by God with the power to “bind and solve” human sins." In confession, the repentant is given not only forgiveness of sins, but also the grace and help of God in the fight with sin . Therefore, we begin the correction of our lives with confession.” (Prot Pavel Gumerov)
- How is repentance different from repentance? In everyday life, as a rule, compatible but by no means synonymous terms are identified - repentance and repentance. Judging by what happened to Judas (cf. Matthew 27:3–5 ), repentance can be without repentance, that is, useless, or even disastrous. Despite their consonance in the Russian language, in the text of Holy Scripture these terms correspond to words of different roots μετάνοια (throwing) and μεταμέλεια (metamelia). The word μετανοέω (metanoeo) means “to change your way of thinking,” to change your vision, understanding of the meaning of life and its values. And the etymology of the word μεταμέλεια (metamelia) ( μέλομαι , melome - to care) indicates a change in the subject of care, aspirations, concerns. Repentance, in contrast to repentance, presupposes a deep rethinking of everything at the root, a change not only in the subject of aspirations and concerns, but a qualitative change in the mind itself.
2. From the site https://azbyka.ru/pokayanie (abbreviated)
Repentance(μετάνοια - Greek: change of consciousness, rethinking, insight):
1) deep repentance, contrition for sins, characterized by sadness and sorrow caused by a wounded conscience, but most importantly, a living feeling of separation from God; accompanied by a strong desire for purification and transformation of life; trust and hope in the Lord. In a broad sense, repentance means a fundamental change in life: from arbitrarily sinful, self-loving and self-sufficient - to life according to the commandments of God, in love and desire for God.
2) The Sacrament of the Church, in which, by sincere confession of sins in front of the priest, the sinner, by the mercy of God, by the power of Divine grace, is freed from sinful impurity.
Repentance is a change in the internal and external life of a person, consisting in the decisive rejection of sin and the desire to lead life in accordance with the all-holy will of God.
Repentance begins with human change crazy turning away from sin and wanting to unite with God. Repentance is always a change of mind, that is, a change from one direction of the mind to another. With a change of mind comes a change hearts, to whom God gives to experience His gracious love and holiness. The knowledge of the love and holiness of God gives strength to a person not to repeat sin and to resist its actions. At the same time, the grace-filled experience of Divine love and holiness requires a considerable feat from a person to retain it in his soul. In this feat, God tests man’s free intention to renounce sin and abide with Him forever.
Following the Divine commandments meets resistance from fallen human nature, which is why repentance is inextricably linked with exertion of will in the movement from sin to God or asceticism. In asceticism, a person is required to have a sincere desire to overcome sin, and God provides grace to overcome it. A feat of repentance is the work of a person’s entire life, since a person must strive throughout his life for union with God and liberation from sin.
For the remission of committed sins, the Church has established the Sacrament of Repentance (Confession), which requires a person’s sincere repentance of the sin committed and the determination not to repeat it with the help of God. Repentance is the exposure of one’s sin, it is the determination not to repeat it in the future.
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3. Repentance: evil infinity or creative insight?(Arch.Andrey Tkachev)
Answerprot. Andrey Tkachev on the article by Prot. Pavel Velikanov “Unrepentant Repentance” ( http://www.pravmir.ru/pokayanie-neraskayannanoe ).
Our confessional practice very often clearly does not satisfy the needs of qualitative improvement of church life and internal growth of parishioners.
“If you get to a particularly zealous confessor, who begins to drill many kilometers of holes in ... the soul, in the hope of finding something like that, then you can collect a whole mountain from these dumps. But experienced people know: such “deep dives” into the abyss of the soul, as a rule, do not end with anything good. So the “optimal” list of sins wanders from one hand to another, quite organically reflecting both the typical state of the soul and its standard infirmities.”.
This is what Archpriest writes. Pavel Velikanov in the article “Unrepentant Repentance.” He goes on to say:
“When I was still a “freshly ordained” priest, I tried to convince parishioners of the extreme importance and necessity of careful preparation for each confession, examination of conscience using confession books, and a detailed compilation of a list of sins with their subsequent “surrender” to the priest. Until I came across a completely unexpected discovery: it turns out that at some point in a person’s church life, this “turning” of the soul inside out becomes as commonplace as the morning splits for a gymnast. Moreover, the real meaning of this opening of the soul to the confessor is infinitely far from real repentance - and thank God: they turned the soul inside out, looked, nothing particularly new appeared, everything was fine, turned it back - and sent it to communion.”.
These words, I believe, are born of compassionate pastoral experience, and once again identify a serious problem. They don’t so much decide as they actually designate. I will also say what I think about this.
Stereotypes and mechanicalness drain life. In the Church they simply act in a killing manner. Just as a mannequin is not a person, so the mechanical observance of behavioral and ritual habits is not spiritual life. The pattern that imitates life, but is not life, in relation to confession is manifested, in particular, in the fact that:
Repentant formulations are repeated by rote, without hope of correction (bad infinity),
Confession has been turned into a “pass” to Communion,
Confession, as such, and the monastic practice of “revelation of thoughts” are impermissibly mixed, which turns the priest into an “arbitrary elder.”
These are things lying on the surface. There are even more of them at depth.
“I have no patience, no humility, I pray absent-mindedly, I have no love for my neighbor,” these are no longer the cries of the soul, but verbal cliches that habitually migrate from piece of paper to piece of paper, from confession to confession. Being in themselves very serious diagnoses of inner life, these words, like dew - the warmth of the sun, are afraid of constant repetition. They must be implied, but have no right to be repeated over and over again. Otherwise, the meaning is devalued.
Can you imagine that a person will one day say: “I didn’t have patience and humility before. Now they already exist. There is no love yet. This is what I confess”?
Such words are unimaginable. We will always lack patience, humility, attentiveness, love... So why repeat these self-evident things over and over again? It is precisely the evil infinity, that is, repetition without end and meaning, that emanates from such “repentance.”
A person may say: “I have fallen into fornication, but it hurts and I cry. I do not want to live in sin and have the will to repent. I don't want to repeat this sin. I'm very embarrassed". I think this is repentance, or rather, part of it. This is how you can and should think and speak. But you cannot say: “I did not have love and attention in prayer. I repent of this. Now I will have both love and attention.” We would hear something stupid and sick if such speeches were heard under the epitrachelion. But it is precisely these speeches that are implied, since we demand to repeat the “formula of the absence of great virtues” over and over again.
A person can repeat for years before the Gospel that he “has no humility,” and at the same time he will hate his daughter-in-law, consider himself better than everyone, wait for the day when America drowns in the ocean, and all sinners end up in hot tar. And all this will live in a person at the same time. Unhealed scabs will be tightly bandaged with beautiful words from good books.
How much better it is to take care of yourself and know your own mental illnesses in order to name not what everyone generally has (for example, pride), but what you have right now (for example, murmur among intensified illnesses).
And a person will not say: “I am proud,” but will certainly say: “I have pride.” The speech itself will be somewhat formulaic, lifeless, like after a briefing. There is a chill in the air from such “repentants.” And the other will sigh: “I’m tired, father. Tired. But I don’t lose heart. I will hold on,” and these words will make you feel warm, because they are simple. And everything simple smells like warm bread.
Priests, driven by a thirst for great spirituality, indeed often demand some kind of unheard-of repentance from people, strangely forgetting about the difference that lies between the monastery of Anthony the Great and the residents of the “Khrushchevka” on the outskirts of the regional center. There is some kind of drunkenness, some kind of pedagogical tactlessness in the demand from common man something great and worthy of the calendar. Moreover, immediately and without preparation.
That opening of thoughts (revelation of thoughts), which involves tracking the movements of the soul during the day, staying awake over oneself, remembering God, and then bringing oneself to the judgment of the confessor is a rare thing even in monasteries. This practice requires the mutual maturity of priest and Christian. Moreover, it requires great experience and almost holiness from the priest, and an ascetic disposition of the soul from the confessor. This is rare, you can’t reproduce it on a photocopier.
If the priest is highly spiritual, and the confessor is weak and blind, like a newly born kitten, then love and caution are needed on the part of the shepherd. Love, caution and time.
If a layman is strict with himself, beaten by life, experienced, well-read and not exalted, and the priest is weak, wisdom and understanding are required from the layman - he is not with the elder in his cell, but on his knees before the Gospel. He repented, accepted the blessing - and glory to God! Christ is alive!
If both are serious and experienced - the confessor and the confessor - there will be no unnecessary words. There will be what you need. This is quiet joy with tears in the eyes.
And if the confessor is damp and the confessor is green; if both have picked up some quotes and are trembling about the end of the world; if it is difficult to talk to them individually and you need to start from scratch and from the beginning, then it’s scary to think how many caricatures can arise on this basis.
The person has not yet read the Gospel, they tell him: “Fight the passions,” without explaining how. A man has just learned the Our Father and has not yet understood the meaning, but they say to him: “Do mental prayer.”
In a word, a person went to first grade, and they asked him about the institute program, and even cursed. This is what they teach in our schools - they raise the bar of requirements, as if they set a goal to produce child prodigies, but the level of education keeps falling and falling.
Here's the formula: inflating demands without love and condescension does not lead people upward, but cripples them and kills those remnants of life that still exist.
People want to take communion and are afraid. “What will I say in confession? It seems that there were no special sins” And they begin to pick out from themselves what they can write on a piece of paper: no love, no patience, I judge, I overeat. This is not a healthy thing. There is no simplicity in it, but a false focus on “straining out mosquitoes.” As soon as you notice this, rest assured that the camel has already been swallowed.
Instead of rejoicing that a person has no special sins, but wants to take communion, we literally intimidate people and demand that they, as one, give up tons of hidden dirt.
True repentance means many tears and few words. We are accustomed to the opposite situation - a lot of words, but dry eyes. And truly deep repentance with inner pain, with tears, cannot be repeated with the same regularity with which evening prayers are read. This is how stupid you have to be not to understand: deep repentance is a rare miracle and a gift, and not a regular activity, like a visit to the dentist.
The priest himself must never repent and howl about himself as if he were dead, or completely forget about this previous experience in order to have a stereotyped attitude towards people’s confession, sins, tears, revealed secrets. A priest is not only someone who receives confession. He himself is a penitent. And if so, then much can be learned in the compassionate mode. And if not, then there is no cure for this problem.
One composer was once awarded a medal by the communist leaders for his success in creativity. They put a piece of iron on your chest and ask: “How long did it take you to write your last song?” The composer answers: “By inspiration, at night - in four hours.” “Oh, so you can write six such songs in a day, since you wrote one in four,” the leader said to the dumbfounded author. It’s funny to us that such basic things as the unpredictability of inspiration are not clear to a stupid person. But who are you laughing at? You laugh at yourself.
You need to study for many years and then think and simmer for many years on a slow creative fire in order to finally give birth to a masterpiece. The masterpiece will not be written, but recorded in four hours. He will be writing for years.
The same is true in repentance. You need to work a lot and suffer, and gradually move from milk to solid food, and suffer, and struggle, in order to one day achieve change and change. Repentance - this is great creativity, and the plan, so dear to the Bolshevik consciousness, with a schedule of demands and regulation of sighs, is completely inappropriate here.
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4.On Confession and Repentance (Archim. Savva (Mazhuko) ( excerpts)
...Confession is a line that is quite difficult to cross; it is difficult to prepare for Confession. And today I would like to talk about exactly this: how to properly prepare for Confession, how not to be afraid, or how to be afraid correctly. Indeed, father Alexander Elchaninov , our wonderful Russian shepherd, said: “I thank God that I experience every Confession as a catastrophe.” Confession is truly a disaster. Especially Confession for the first time. But it is important to remember some key points that will set us up correctly for Confession.
Of course, Confession is event. There is no template, there are no things that completely and completely formalize and normalize this sacrament: Confession is precisely a sacrament, it is a meeting with God, confessing one’s sins to God. Confession, as a sacrament, is only a small moment of the whole process internal work which is called repentance. Confession should be distinguished, firstly, from spiritual conversation. Secondly, from the revelation of thoughts.
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5. What repentance is and what it is not(archim. Nektary) http://www.pravoslavie.ru/45241.html
Having come to his senses, he said: “How many of my father’s hired servants have an abundance of bread, and I am dying of hunger: I will get up and go to my father and say to him: Father! I have sinned against heaven and before you and am no longer worthy to be called your son: accept me as one of your hired servants. He got up and went to his father.(Luke 15:17-20)
The Church Fathers call repentance "second baptism", "renewal of Baptism." Through the Sacrament of Baptism we enter the Church, we enter the path leading to the Kingdom of God. Thanks to the second Baptism - repentance - a person can be washed from sin with tears of repentance, rise from his fall, be healed of wounds and continue his path to God. Unfortunately, few people know what repentance is, what its deepest meaning is, and what they need to repent of.
Repentance is not some kind of legal procedure that frees a person from the feeling of guilt. This is not a formal confession, which a person often allows himself before great holidays. The path traversed by the prodigal son testifies to something completely different.
The very word “repentance” means a radical change in a human being, its rebirth, a change in way of thinking, a change in life, a denial of sin with all the heart. In other words, we must realize with all our being that the path of sin that we have walked leads to destruction. We need to understand that we are in some kind of swamp, far from our home. We need to stop and say to ourselves, “Where are we going? This is crazy! Our Father has a luxurious palace, where everything pleases the eye, but we sit in a quagmire! We must find the determination to return to our father's home, to the arms of God the Father and our fellow men.
In order for repentance to be true, it must be accomplished in practice. Hieromartyr Cosmas of Aetolia says: “Even if all your spiritual fathers, patriarchs, bishops and the whole world have forgiven you, you will still not be forgiven unless you actually repent.” That is, if we do not move away from sin and change our lives, our repentance will not be true. It is not even repentance in the full sense of the word.
Many people readily approach a confessor, dejected by the severity of psychological and other problems. They confess with tears and make promises that they will never return to sin, that they will change their lives, etc. But how deep is this kind of repentance? It should not be limited to an outburst of emotions. It takes time, work, skill in virtue and the fight against sin with the assistance of the grace of God. At the same time, repentance is carried out latently, in a secret way, in the soul of a person. Just as if a person throws a seed into the ground, and sleeps and gets up night and day; and how the seed sprouts and grows, he does not know, for the earth produces by itself...(Mark 4:26-28).
As we have already said, repentance is impossible without the grace of God. A person, being in the darkness of sin, not understanding how wonderful life is in God, cannot feel the difference between the sinful life of the world and the holy life of the Church. Only when the grace of God plants the seed of Divine love in his heart will he be able to see his spiritual failure. Sunlight entering a dark room illuminates everything. So the grace of God reveals to us the emptiness of our souls, exposes our passions, our sins. That is why the saints so earnestly asked God: “ Grant me complete repentance" True repentance is a safe path leading to the Kingdom of God.
6. Repentance, confession, fasting(Bishop Athanasius (Evtich)
http://www.pravoslavie.ru/45156.html
Repentance is the beginning of a Christian new life, or Christian new being, being in Christ.
Repentance
This is how the Gospel began with the words of St. John the Baptist: “ Repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand“. And Christ’s sermon after Baptism was: “ Repent and believe the Gospel“.
But in our time the question is raised: why is repentance necessary? From a social point of view, it is inappropriate to talk about repentance. There is, of course, some semblance of repentance, especially in the countries of eastern totalitarianism: when someone has retreated from the party line, they demand from him “ repentance“, or when the party leaders themselves retreat from their original plan - only this is not called repentance, but some kind of “ reform" or " perestroika”
In Scripture there are (in the Greek text) two different expressions for repentance. One expression - metanoia , and the other - metamelia . Sometimes this second expression is not translated by the word “ repentance“, and in the word “ repentance“. I decided, for example, to go to Frankfurt and “ repented“, that is, I changed my mind: I won’t go. This is what the Holy Scriptures call “ metamelia“, it’s just a change of intention. This has no spiritual meaning. There is also, in a social or psychological sense, something like “ remorse“, that is, change. In the field of psychology there is “ perestroika“of your character, your neurosis... In depth psychology, Adler, or Freud, and even Jung have no concept of repentance.
Repentance is a religious concept. You need to repent to someone. This does not mean simply changing your lifestyle or your inner feeling or your experience, as is meant in, say, Eastern religions and cultures. These religions say that a person must gain his own experience, must know himself, self-realize, so that the light of his consciousness awakens. But such a change does not require God. And Christian repentance is certainly before someone...
Christ begins his Gospel, his good news, his teaching to humanity with repentance. Saint Mark the Ascetic, a disciple of Saint John Chrysostom, who lived as a hermit in the 4th-5th centuries in Asia Minor, teaches that our Lord Jesus Christ, God's power and God's Wisdom, providing for the salvation of all, of all his various dogmas and commandments, left only one the law is the law of freedom, but that this law of freedom is reached only through repentance. Christ commanded the apostles: “ Preach repentance to all nations, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand “. And the Lord wanted to say by this that the power of repentance contains the power of the Kingdom of Heaven, just as leaven contains bread or grain contains the whole plant. So repentance is the beginning of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let us remember the Epistle of St. Apostle Paul to the Jews: those who repented felt the power of the Kingdom of Heaven, the power of the future age. But as soon as they turned to sin, they lost this power, and it was necessary to revive repentance again.
So repentance is not simply the social or psychological ability to get along with other people without conflict. Repentance is an ontological, that is, existential category of Christianity. When Christ began the Gospel with repentance, he had in mind the ontological reality of man. Let us say in the words of St. Gregory Palamas: the commandment of repentance and other commandments given by the Lord fully corresponds to human nature itself, for in the beginning He created this human nature. He knew that later He would come and give commandments, and therefore created nature according to the commandments that would be given. And vice versa, the Lord gave such commandments as were consistent with the nature that He created in the beginning. Thus, Christ’s word about repentance is not a slander against human nature, it is not “ imposition“to human nature is something alien to it, but the most natural, normal, corresponding to human nature. The only thing is that human nature is fallen, and therefore is now in an abnormal state for itself. But repentance is the lever with which a person can correct his nature and return it to a normal state. That’s why the Savior said: “ Metanoite " - that is " change your mind “.
...Repentance is impossible without meeting God. Therefore, God comes to meet man halfway. If repentance were simply consideration, repentance, a different arrangement of one’s powers, it would be a restructuring, but not a change in essence. A sick person, as St. Cyril of Alexandria says, cannot heal himself, but he needs a healer - God. What is the disease? In the corruption of love. There shouldn't be one-sided love. Love must be at least two-sided. And for the fullness of love, in fact, three are needed: God, neighbor and me. Me, God and neighbor. Neighbor, God and me. This is rechorisis, the interpenetration of love, the circulation of love. This is eternal life. In repentance, a person feels that he is sick and seeks God. Therefore, repentance always has a regenerative power. Repentance is not just self-pity, or depression, or an inferiority complex, but always the consciousness and feeling that communication has been lost, and immediately the search for and even the beginning of restoring this communication. Then the prodigal son came to his senses and said: “ This is the state I'm in. But I have a father, and I will go to my father! “If he had simply realized that he was lost, this would not yet have been Christian repentance. And he went to his father! According to the Holy Scriptures, it can be assumed that the father had already come out to meet him, that the father, as it were, had taken the first step, and this was reflected in the son’s motivation to return. There is no need, of course, to analyze what is first and what is second: the meeting can be double. Both God and man in repentance enter into the activity of love. Love seeks communication. Repentance is regret for lost love.
Only when repentance begins does a person feel the need for it. It would seem that first a person needs to feel that he needs repentance, that it is salvation for him. But in fact, paradoxically, it turns out that only when a person already experiences repentance does he feel the need for it. This means that the unconscious of the heart is deeper than the consciousness that God gives to those who want it. Christ said: “ Whoever can accommodate, let him accommodate “. Saint Gregory the Theologian asks, and who can accommodate ? And he answers: the one who wants .
Confession as a continuation of repentance is a person’s true self-disclosure. Yes, we are sinners, that is why we reveal our wounds, illnesses, sins. A person sees himself in a desperate, hopeless situation. But what is truly true is that he looks not only at himself, but, as St. said. Anthony the Great: put your sin before yourself and look at God beyond sins.
Holy Fathers on repentance
The singer of repentance is St. John Climacus: “Repentance is the renewal of baptism. Repentance is a covenant with God to correct life. Repentance is the purchase of humility. Repentance is the constant rejection of bodily consolation. Repentance is the thought of self-condemnation and self-care, free from external concerns. Repentance is the daughter of hope and the rejection of despair. Repentance is reconciliation with the Lord through doing good deeds that are contrary to previous sins. Repentance is the cleansing of conscience. Repentance is voluntary patience of all sorrowful things. The penitent is the inventor of punishments for himself. Repentance is a strong oppression of the belly, a wounding of the soul in deep feeling” (Lev. 5:1).
One of the modern ascetics, Saint and Confessor Vasily Kineshemsky, writes the following about repentance: “We know that repentance in the deep sense of the word is not simple contrition for sins or disgust for one’s sinful past, even less does it mean formal confession: the meaning of the word is much deeper. This is a decisive transition of life to new rails, a complete rearrangement of all values in the soul and heart, where, under normal conditions, worldly concerns and goals of temporary, mainly material life come first, and everything high and holy, everything connected with faith in God and serving Him, is relegated to the background . A person does not completely abandon these high ideals, but remembers them and serves them furtively, fearfully, in rare moments of spiritual enlightenment. Repentance presupposes a radical change: in the foreground always, everywhere, in everything is God; behind, after everything, the world and its demands, unless they can be completely thrown out of the heart. In other words, repentance requires the creation of a new, unified center in man, and this center, where all the threads of life converge, must be God. When a person is able to solder all his thoughts, feelings and decisions with this single center, then from this will be created that integrity, monolithicity of the soul, which gives enormous spiritual strength. In addition, a person with such a dispensation seeks to fulfill only the will of God and in the end can achieve complete submission or merging of his weak human will with the omnipotent will of the Creator, and then his power grows to the divine power of miracles, for then it is not he who acts, but in him God acts."78.
2. Holy Fathers and Teachers of the Church 7. St. Athanasius the Great. Creations. Part III. M. 1994.8. Works like those of our holy father Basil the Great, Archbishop of Caesarea in Cappadocia. Part 1. M. 1845.9. St. Gregory the Great Double-Speaker. Selected creations. M. 1999.10. St. Gregory the Wonderworker. St.
What kind of holy fathers were they? For they, observing perfect severity in everything, even down to a random word, were constantly serious, soft, bright, sincere, firm, kind, meek, peaceful, avoided strife, were not lovers of the flesh, did not like decorations,
Holy Fathers For this, children, remember the days of old (Ps. 142:5), as well as our fathers, and do not arrange your life in the image of those who now live in negligence. What was life like for the fathers? You have read and heard that all their love was directed towards God, the spirit, enlightened by aspiring
HOLY FATHERS...I promised to tell you in writing about this important subject<молитвенном правиле>reasoning, not from my own mind or work - I cannot boast of anything, for I end my days in laziness and negligence, but from the teaching and reasoning of the saints and God-wise father,
B. THE WESTERN HOLY FATHERS The patristic theology of the West in the fourth century was at a lower level than in the East. However, the study of the Western holy fathers of this period is important, because, firstly, it was a time when both halves of the Christian world maintained
THE HOLY FATHERS ABOUT HEAVEN AND HELL Considering the doctrine of heaven and hell, as it is set out by the holy fathers, is the most important task. The Holy Fathers are the true teachers of the Church, bearers of unclouded Tradition. Therefore the Holy Scriptures cannot be correctly interpreted apart from them
HOW THE HOLY FATHERS CONSOLE US The death of our loved ones Death, an event exceptional in its impact, has caused grief and suffering in people for a long time. The Faith of Christ, which surrounds a person with special love, has always honored these feelings. Ever since the Old Testament
Holy Fathers about the human soul The Holy Fathers and Teachers of the Church speak enthusiastically about the human soul, describing in beautiful expressions its greatness and extraordinary beauty. St. Gregory the Theologian: The soul is an intelligently contemplated being, eternally abiding, image and breath
Holy Fathers on prayer You have a great (path) of repentance in alms, which can free you from the bonds of sin, but there is another path of repentance for you, also very convenient, through which you can free yourself from sins. Pray every hour, do not become exhausted in prayer and are not lazy
HOLY FATHERS AND COURTISANS. Finally, Sergius achieved his highest goal. At first he rewarded himself for such a long wait by canceling all the decrees of John the ninth and the three popes who preceded him, declaring that the four usurpers had no right to occupy
Holy Fathers on Confession
Salvation is acquired through repentance.
Elder Adrian of Yuga
Glory to the Lord that He gave us repentance, we are all saved by repentance; Only those who do not want to repent will not be saved; and I cry a lot, feeling sorry for them. Every soul that has lost peace must repent - and the Lord will forgive, and then there will be joy and peace in the soul
Every sin committed must be cleansed by repentance.
The Monk Pachomius the Great placed two weapons of spiritual warfare above all else: the fear of God and confession.
And one confession and frankness replaces asceticism in others (Reverend Neil of Sinai).
Repentance is the second baptism.
Repentance elevates its worker to the most extensive spiritual visions, reveals to him his own fall, and the fall of all mankind, and other mysteries. So, brethren, before all works and with all works, let repentance be the work of all of us. (Saint Ignatius (Brianchaninov)).
Repentance is the key to the Kingdom of Heaven, without which no one can enter there.
Sin becomes even worse if it is not cleansed by repentance. A sinner who is aware of his sin deserves more leniency in the eyes of God than one who sins and says: “This is not a sin” or: “God will not punish you!” (St. Macarius, Metropolitan of Moscow).
Elder Theologist cursed the demon to speak of repentance. The demon answered: “There is nothing else in the church like a perfect and pure confession of sins. Then he does evil to us most of all and destroys our strength. Whenever there is a person in sins, then his mind is all tied up and cannot do good deeds; When you confess your sins purely, then you are free from all and have the will to do every good deed.”
Repentance is a return from the devil to God.
The beginning of the good path is to confess to the priest with all your soul your sins, and especially your spiritual ignorance, that you do not have perfect knowledge of the Sacraments of Christianity, that you do not know what faith consists of. (Reverend Simeon the New Theologian).
For the sins we have committed, let us not blame our birth or anyone else, but only ourselves (Reverend Anthony the Great).
The Lord mercifully gave people repentance, and by repentance everyone without exception is saved (Reverend Silouan of Athos).
As for confession, don’t put it off.
What is repentance and what is confession
Repentance and confession should not be understood in the same way; repentance means one thing, and confession means another; repentance can happen without confession, but confession cannot happen without repentance; you can and should always repent or repent before God of your sins at all times, but you can confess only before your confessor and in your own time; repentance, or repentance for sins, brings a person closer to the Kingdom of Heaven and brings the Holy Spirit closer to a person, and confession without repentance and repentance does not bring a person any benefit, and not only does not bring benefit, but a feigned and untrue confession destroys a person, making him great a criminal, because confession is and should be an act of repentance (St. Innocent).
During the days of Great Lent, everything is open: heaven for mercy, the sinner for confession, and the tongue for prayer.
The penitent is truly exposed to the reproach of the insane: this serves as a sign for him of pleasing God (Reverend Mark the Ascetic).
What can we say about those who avoid confession and communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ? Truly, these are unhappy people. The believer lives as long as he remains in Christ through communion.
To prove that no sin can prevent a person from entering the Kingdom of God, the Lord brought there the repentant thief first.
Addressing the people in the church, Saint Demetrius of Rostov once said: “Forgive me, brothers and sisters, if I call every sinner who does not think about his sins possessed.”
True misfortune consists only in unrepentance for sins by which the soul deviates from God.
What is petrified insensibility? This is when you don’t see or feel your sins.
False confession is a cold confession of one’s common sins in word, deed, or thought. These are forced answers to the questions of the priest, and not the repentance of the sinful tax collector who beat his chest, cried and sighed.
The confessor must explain to the penitents that before confession and communion they must pray for the all-night vigil.
The basis of our salvation is repentance.
Confession forces a person to look back at himself... and Holy Communion gives grace in the fight against sin and for strengthening in goodness.
Demons become sad when they see a repentant soul; It is very painful for them that the Lord has given sinners repentance and deigns His forgiveness and mercy to those who repent with all his heart.
Why did the Lord not want to deal with the “righteous”? Because those who consider themselves righteous, who have no need for repentance, are in fact self-deceived, proud, sin the sin most hateful to God and are mentally incurable due to a complete lack of consciousness of their sinfulness.
Days of fasting should be devoted to works of mercy: feeding the poor and sorrowful and learning from the Word of God.
In the event of a serious fall, the Church encourages every Christian not to delay repentance, but to accelerate it.
What rewards there are for confession, listen to what the Lord says: speak your iniquities first, that you may be justified(Isa. 43:26). Don't be ashamed to confess your sins. God commands confession not to punish, but to forgive. I am- says God - blot out your iniquities For my sake, your sins will not be remembered(Isa. 43:25).
I ask you, beloved brethren, let us confess each of our sins, while the sinner is still in this life, when his confession can be accepted, when the satisfaction and absolution performed by the priests is acceptable before the Lord (Saint Cyprian of Carthage).
Repentance opens heaven to a person, leads him into paradise, defeats the devil (St. John Chrysostom).
A sigh from the depths of the heart about sins is the beginning of saving repentance.
One must hate sin; through this you can escape from its snares, even if someone was already entangled in them.
Repentance is war against sin.
For those who repent, removal from sins alone is not enough for salvation, but they also need fruits worthy of repentance.
Those who do not flow to the saving Sacrament of Repentance, about such we hear the terrible saying of God: Unless you repent, you will all perish the same way.(Luke 13:3).
As soon as the sinner pronounced condemnation on herself, she averted God's judgment.
Why is frequent repentance necessary? In order to scourge sin, to sting, to depress, to kill it. Through frequent repentance, sin loses its power, its charm, its charm.
The saints were people just like the rest of us. Many of them came from great sins, but through repentance they reached the Kingdom of Heaven. And everyone who comes there comes through repentance, which the Merciful Lord gave us through His sufferings
(Reverend Silouan of Athos).
AND so, leaving the times of ignorance, God now commands people everywhere to repent(Acts 17:30).
What is fasting
Confession and Communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ are Sacraments that require adequate preparation, time and exercise. This preparation is called fasting.
What is fasting? Fasting is not only physical, but also spiritual work. Its purpose and intention is to cleanse the soul and body, to reconcile with God, to sow and strengthen the seeds in the soul - the beginnings of a good holy life, Christian behavior, and to suppress the tares - bad habits.
Fasting is great strictness in food and sleep, cessation of everyday worries and affairs, reading the Word of God, unforgiving going to church, examining one’s conscience in solitude.
This is a cheerful state of the soul, with all attention engaged in the work of salvation, namely: constant going to church, prayer, fasting, knowledge of one’s sinfulness, contrition for sins, repentance - ending with confession and communion of the Holy Mysteries. In repentance we receive cleansing of conscience from sins and confirmation in a virtuous life.
So, fasting, let us go to church without laziness for all services, at the beginning of them, and leave only at the end. Let's drive away laziness and excuses.
Let us pray earnestly at home too. Without fervent prayer, fasting will be fruitless and not at all useful. Prayer constitutes the life of fasting.
During fasting, let us try to maintain the strictest fast, which the Holy Church requires of us: physical fasting and spiritual fasting. Fasting combined with prayer are two wings with which only one can fly to the heights of virtue.
We need to start getting to know ourselves, to figure out: are we living like Christians? Do you look like true Christians? Do we always try to act like Christians?
We will need to confess our sins in detail before our confessor. Therefore, during fasting, we need to remember all our sins and transgressions - against God, and against our neighbors, and against ourselves - to remember and confess all the sins that we have committed from the last confession until now, for if we do not confess our sins , then they will remain unresolved.
We have to partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, the Body and Blood of Christ. My beloved sisters and brothers, this is such a great thing that you need to think about not only during fasting, but throughout your life and all eternity. In worthy communion of the Holy Mysteries there is eternal life and eternal bliss, in unworthy there is judgment, condemnation and terrible eternal death.
If you decide to fast, then you will face many obstacles, internal and external; they will disappear as soon as you firmly decide to fulfill your saving Christian duty - fasting.
During fasting, we should, if possible, deviate from the bustle of the world in order to think about our sins, cry about them before God and prepare to make a sincere confession about them, cleansing us of our sins.
The holy time of fasting, confession and communion is such a precious time in our lives that an entire eternity is not enough to adequately thank God for this mercy given to us by Him.
What should we repent of?
Firstly, in one’s own sins; secondly, in the sins that we have brought upon our neighbors through inducement, temptation or bad example; thirdly, in those good deeds that they could have done, but did not; fourthly, in those good deeds from which we led our neighbor; fifthly, in those good deeds that we did with half sin; and about all such sins you need to ask your conscience and memory and pray to God for its enlightenment (St. John Chrysostom).
There are still people who consider small sins to be great and worry too much about them, but hardly think about grave and great sins, for example, somehow eating on a fast day, eating before mass on a holiday, etc. are considered a grave sin , and to curse or condemn one’s neighbor, to denigrate him and thereby, so to speak, to kill is considered almost nothing in the eyes of others. This means making an elephant out of a molehill, and a fly out of an elephant.
There is no unforgivable sin except that which one does not repent of.
He who justifies himself alienates himself from repentance (Abba Isaiah).
He who hides his sins does not want to part with them.
Look at yourself: maybe you are going to confession without any preparation, without examining your conscience? Maybe you confess without contrition and tenderness, formally, coldly, mechanically and have no intention of correcting yourself in the future?
Repentance should not be hopeless sorrow. It must be animated and enlivened by deep faith in the Redeemer and firm hope in His mercy. The necessary conditions repentance - faith and hope.
Consciousness of one's sins and self-reproach for them are the first steps on the path of repentance.
No one should ever begin confession unless he first has the firm hope that during confession he will receive complete forgiveness.
Frequent confession destroys untruth, turns away from sin, protects from evil, confirms goodness, strengthens against temptations, maintains vigilance, keeps on the path of God's commandments, strengthens against temptations, pours holy peace into the soul, increases the desire for a pious life and makes a person a better person every day. the day is cleaner and more perfect.
Every soul that has lost peace must repent - and the Lord will forgive, and then there will be joy and peace in the soul (Reverend Silouan of Athos).
How much we will cry and repent for the fact that today we did not cry and did not repent.
Those who say: “We will sin in youth, but repent in old age” will be deceived and ridiculed by demons. As arbitrary sinners, they will not be worthy of repentance (Reverend Ephraim the Syrian).
Repentance must be done with the satisfaction of the offended: let them confess the sin that they have committed, and return in full what they are guilty of, and add a fifth to it and give it to the one against whom they sinned(see Numbers 5:7).
Repentance must be expressed by hatred of sin: And remember there your ways and all your deeds with which you have defiled yourselves, and you will abhor yourselves for all your evil deeds which you have done.(Ezek. 20:43).
Bring forth fruits worthy of repentance(Luke 3:8). How can we create them? Doing the opposite. For example, did you steal someone else's property? Go ahead and give yours. Have you been fornicating for a long time? Now abstain from your wife on certain days and get used to abstinence. Insulted and even beat? Go ahead and bless those who offend you and do good to those who strike you. Have you indulged in voluptuousness and drunkenness before? Now fast and drink water; try to destroy the evil that occurred from your previous life. Have you looked with lust at someone else's beauty before? From now on, for greater safety, don’t look at all. For it is said: Avoid evil and do good(Ps. 33:15) (St. John Chrysostom).
He who brings repentance must not only wash away his sin with tears, but also cover up his previous sins best things to do so that sin is not imputed to him (Saint Ambrose).
If the Lord, out of His infinite love and mercy for fallen humanity, had not given him repentance and remission of sins for the sake of the cross sacrifice of His Only Begotten Son, then all people would descend to hell, to a place of eternal torment (St. John of Kronstadt).
Trying to blot out previous sins and passions is true repentance. Deciding to leave this or that passion, this or that habit - this is true repentance.
How to confess
It’s good to write a confession in advance, not from a book, and read it yourself in front of your confessor. It will be clear and easy for him, and it will be easy and joyful for the person confessing.
Know: what you reveal to your spiritual father will not be written down by the devil.
The Sacrament of Repentance is such a great gift of God’s love for us that we can never adequately thank the Lord for it.
It is necessary to write down even a small sin for repentance, as soon as you remember (Reverend Ambrose of Optina).
You should never be discouraged: if you have sinned, repent now and be peaceful in spirit.
Isn’t it better to blot out sins here through repentance than to suffer eternal torment for them there?
When confessing to the confessor of sins, one must repent, recognizing oneself as guilty, and not make excuses and not place the blame on another.
Sins in confession should not be reduced or given a different meaning; everything must be told the honest truth.
When you confess your sins and the priest says: “I forgive and permit,” then you are already forgiven. There are those who neglect confession. What a great gift they are missing out on!
Mortal sin requires great repentance and many tears. This is truly the death of the soul, which is resurrected by repentance only by God's mercy.
More important sins should be revealed to spiritual fathers first, and not vice versa.
Repentance turns away the wrath of God.
Repentance and communion are the greatest of all the gifts of God.
One must always repent of all deviations from the Law of God and negligence in fulfilling it.
Repentance consists not only in abandoning bad deeds, but also in replacing them with good deeds.
Not to lose heart, not to despair, to confess sins is a sign of a contrite heart and a humble soul.
Holy Confession brings two benefits: it brings forgiveness from God for sins committed and protects from falling into sins in the future.
Should we remember sins that were confessed and, with the help of God’s grace, forsaken? There is no point in remembering them in the spirit in confession again, when they are already allowed... But in your prayer it is good to remember them (St. Theophan the Recluse).
Repentant sinners lag behind their sins, grieve over the fact that they sinned before, are annoyed with themselves and are already turning away from unrepentant sinners, so as not to turn to their sins again.
There is no better weapon than confession - the weapon is the strongest and most effective. The devil does not tolerate being discovered and declared: having been exposed and declared, he throws away his prey and leaves.
When you happen to fall into sin, you should not allow it to linger in your soul for a long time, but rather resort to repentance.
Some people think that it is not necessary to tell all sins to the priest at confession - it is enough to just mention important sins, but they forget that a sin not confessed to the confessor and not allowed by him is not forgiven.
The repentant is required to have faith in the forgiveness of sins in the Sacrament of Penance for the sake of the merits of the cross of our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ.
The listing of sins in prayers before communion is necessary in order for the communicant to gain repentant tenderness, to soften, to humble himself; so that if any sin turns out to be forgotten and not confessed, then confess it to the confessor.
A person’s sin is destroyed by confession to a priest, and the very roots of sin are destroyed by fighting sinful thoughts and repeating confession when thoughts begin to overcome.
Frequent confession is very useful, because we soon forget our sins, and if we tell our confessor, then they are uprooted.
Repentance opens the eyes, opens sight to sins. Having repented of some sins, a person begins to see others, and still others, etc., begins to consider as sin what he did not consider before, and remembers unrepentant sins, long forgotten.
Confession must be completely sincere. Only people who have no idea about the purpose of confession can rejoice that the confessor did not ask about some sins: after all, if a sin is hidden, not expressed in confession, then this means that it remains in you.
Repentance is known by the fruits, and not by the roots or leaves: the Lord cursed the fig tree, which had only leaves, but was barren; Likewise, verbal confession of sins alone is not acceptable without the fruit of depressing the body (through the work of repentance).
Pay attention to these words: the root of repentance is the good intention to confess sins, the leaves are the very confession of sins to God in the face of the spiritual father and the promise of correction, and the fruits of repentance are a virtuous life and the works of repentance. True repentance is recognized by these fruits (St. Gregory Dvoeslov).
It is one of the main means of saving spiritual sheep. Although this is not the only means, it occupies one of the central places in the life of the church. There is a lot that can be said about confession, some of which are especially important for future priests. I, of course, cannot claim to have any special experience. It would be better if some real confessor, a very experienced one, taught us and shared his spiritual understanding of the problem of clergy, but, as they say, in the absence of stamped paper, they write on simple paper; you will have to be content with my little information and opinions.
Speaking about confession, we must immediately understand that what is meant here is mainly the sacrament of repentance. The sacrament is one of the most important sacraments, and is given to us as a gift of grace, which after His resurrection the Lord Jesus Christ communicated to His disciples with the words: “Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive, they will be forgiven; on whomever you leave it, it will remain on him” (John 20:23).
According to the general reasoning of the Church, this is the gift of knitting and solving, which is primarily the property of the priesthood. And it is clear that the sacrament of repentance, which is associated with this gift, has lived and lives in the Church for almost two thousand years, always remaining identical to itself. This sacrament does not change, for it is a sacrament of spiritual healing, it belongs spiritual world. But in history, as we know, the forms of performing the sacraments can change, the order of the sacraments changes, the understanding of the sacraments changes. The sacrament itself does not change, its ontological essence remains the same. But the understanding of that essence may be different in different time. And moreover, we know that every sacrament is performed by faith, therefore, it very often happens that in a sacrament the Lord primarily gives one or the other, depending on what we ask with faith. But this does not mean that the sacrament has become different, no. Let's say there is the sacrament of communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ. Naturally, in this sacrament we are united with Christ. This is the main thing. But at the same time, we can always pray to God that the grace that is bestowed in this sacrament would make us joyful and kind, and at other times - that it would cleanse our hearts from some passions, and sometimes - that the Lord would show us Your will. In the sacrament we receive what we ask for. So in the sacrament of repentance, depending on what we are looking for, what we ask from the Lord, we can receive various gifts according to our faith. In different eras, the church people understood this sacrament differently and asked for different things. It is very important to understand the evolution of the understanding and performance of the sacrament.
The sacrament of repentance is one of those sacraments that are most profaned in our time.
Every sacrament is great, infinitely deep, every sacrament connects us with God, imparts to us endless, new life, a hidden spiritual perspective. In this sense, every sacrament is comprehensive and incomprehensible. Hence the name: “sacrament”: it is mysterious, incomprehensible to the human mind, it is comprehended by the heart to the extent that the heart has expanded. But the sacrament of repentance also has a special difficulty - a human one, because a person must repent of it. This is the main thing here.
Any sacrament requires that a person meet God halfway. Any sacrament requires spiritual activity, but here it is to a special extent. Here it is necessary that a person repent, see himself, want to change, be reborn.
In our time, the sacrament of repentance has become more difficult to understand than ever. Although we all know: here is confession, it has the goal of clearing the conscience of a repentant sinner, everything seems clear. In fact, this clarity is only apparent. In fact, there are almost no people now who could properly explain what should be here and how everything should be correctly understood. Moreover, not only the penitents do not understand, but many priests do not understand either.
There is a theological explanation of the sacrament of baptism, a lot has been written about the Eucharist, a lot has been said about marriage, a lot has been said about the priesthood. But clearly little has been written about the sacrament of repentance.
The sacrament of repentance is a kind of center in which the confessor meets with his flock and has the opportunity (and must) look into the most intimate corners of the human soul, where he must learn to help a person reveal himself to the end, reveal himself before God and before the confessor, without hiding anything, overcoming every crafty, hypocritical, bashful desire to hide something, to keep something secret. And at the moment of such a very special self-disclosure, revelation of his soul, which, of course, requires maximum trust, the priest gets the opportunity to guide the soul of the penitent, because the penitent comes and hands over his soul to the priest. He acts as a patient who goes to the doctor acts. We often get sick, but we don’t want to go to the doctor, we hope that somehow we will overcome the illness and somehow get better ourselves. There are some diseases that are especially unpleasant to see a doctor for. And so the person delays this moment, hoping that it will somehow work out, but the illness does not go away. And you have to go, and the doctor demands that you perform the most unpleasant procedures. A person must submit, do violence to himself, in order to defeat the disease and stay alive. Something similar happens in the sacrament of repentance: the patient finally entrusts himself into the hands of a doctor, surgeon, lies down on the operating table, realizing that all he has to do is shake his hand and he will die, but, nevertheless, he entrusts himself to the doctor and goes to take risks in the hope that the surgeon will be a good doctor, that God will help him, that he will heal him.
Once they told me how two identical patients were operated on. One patient underwent a major operation and recovered from a fatal illness. And when they operated on the second one, the surgeon’s hand trembled, and he cut a little more. And although the patient did not die immediately, she became seriously ill and died a month later. This case is very indicative for us. All this, in a sense, happens in confession. The confessor turns out to be at once a therapist, a surgeon, and very often a psychiatrist, and, of course, he must first of all be a spiritual doctor. Precisely a doctor. The penitent comes and entrusts his soul to him. Much depends on the extent to which the penitent surrenders his soul.
There is a difference between a physical doctor and a spiritual doctor. Before he found himself sick in a doctor's office, he, perhaps, did not think that he was now being ordered, for example, to swallow some kind of intestine, and thus examine all his insides. He didn’t know this, but when he arrived, they told him: “No, you won’t leave here, you can’t be let go, otherwise you’ll die, it’s necessary...”. He can be persuaded, or he can be forced; It happens that relatives forcibly hospitalize seriously ill people, and doctors euthanize and perform very difficult operations on a person who does not know his diagnosis...
And something similar can happen in confession, but here it’s more difficult. Here it is impossible to do without the will of the penitent. Everything is determined by his will, his faith. And there are no means of violence in the hands of the confessor; he must be so skilled as to convince and persuade the penitent not to leave, not to remain as he is, sick, but to begin spiritual treatment. The confessor must be able to influence those who come to him in such a way as to raise the problem of spiritual illness with due depth and must make them feel its danger. This requires a gift that not everyone has. This requires some experience in communicating with people and a special ability to communicate, the ability to instill confidence in oneself.
But most of all, spirituality is required here. It is necessary that the confessor be truly turned to Heaven, to God, to such an extent that the one who comes immediately feels the reality of spiritual life. So that next to him he feels that a completely new and most important side of his life is opening up here. It is necessary that through his prayer, through his life, he can attract grace-filled help. That is why the best confessors have always been holy people - not psychoanalysts, psychiatrists and psychologists who provide “trust services”, give advice, and understand human mental states. It is not they who turn out to be the best spiritual doctors, but precisely holy people who act by other methods, have grace-filled gifts, know how to pray and know how to call on God for help and show this grace-filled Divine power to a weak and suffering person.
Very often it happens like this: a person comes to the hospital, looking quite healthy and even thriving, he, say, has twisted his leg. And they tell him: “You haven’t been to the clinic for a long time. You need to undergo such and such medical examination and examination.” He doesn’t want this, he feels healthy, but he is being forced. And after he is examined, it turns out that he has cancer, which he does not suspect anything about. Thinking that he is quite healthy, he is going to go to the mountains to travel. And they tell him “No, you need to urgently go to the hospital, get examined, you need to have surgery urgently, you can’t put it off. And, of course, you won’t go anywhere to the mountains this year, even if the operation goes well.”
Something similar happens in modern confession: people come who for some reason want to live a church life, start a church life or continue it, but not because they recognize themselves as terminally ill. Very often suffering people come to the priest, but this is often not the case. A person wants to confess, take communion, and live the church life. But he absolutely does not know how to truly repent, does not understand that he is sinful, does not feel his sins. Such a person limits himself to formal confession. This is where it is easiest for the priest to say:
- Well, okay, you don’t have any special sins, you’re not guilty of anything, I forgive, I allow, go and take communion. Thank God you didn’t kill anyone or steal anyone.
Given how busy priests are in parishes, this is quite natural. But, unfortunately, it often happens that this particular person is in the greatest danger. Because he has an old and serious illness, a fatal, spiritual illness of petrified insensibility, which can lead him to spiritual death much earlier than he thinks, which can prevent him from coming next time. Identifying this illness and convincing the patient to repent is a lot of work, this is a great skill that requires great love and attention from the confessor.
But, in the end, in confession it comes down to the fact that a person only names his sins. Sins themselves are only a consequence of some kind of sinful work that takes place in the human soul. Sins are some fruits on the evil tree of sinful life. For example, some poisonous bush grows, and poisonous berries appear on it, but even if we tear them off and leave the bush, then the same poisonous fruits will appear next year, that is, we most likely will not change anything in a person’s soul , only by forgiving and allowing some evil deeds he has already committed. The task of the confessor is to change the soul of the repentant; the root of sin needs to be rooted out, but first you need to find it.
Such a root, as the holy fathers teach us, is the passions. The systematization of this teaching about the passions is given to us in many patristic works. I will give an approximate list of them: gluttony, fornication, love of money, anger, sadness, despondency, vanity and pride. You can put these passions in a different order. We can also talk about voluptuousness, envy, irritability, ambition, but, in general, these are variants or related passions that can be called differently.
The teaching about the spiritual life of man is nowhere given in such amazing and grace-filled completeness as that of the holy fathers of the East. And every Christian who wants to live a spiritual life, and especially every pastor, must not only be familiar with patristic asceticism, but must constantly be in communication with the holy fathers, constantly read them, so that their perception of spiritual life is alive in his heart . And not only read, but also follow them yourself, live a spiritual life, know from personal experience what the holy fathers are talking about. Then he will be able to say to the repentant: “Yes, the sin you committed is very (or maybe not very) serious. But it is important not only to repent of this sin, this crime you have committed or some mistake - it is much more important to repent of the passion that this sin produced and is constantly producing, which has become a dangerous disease for you. You need to understand that it is this passion that needs to be eradicated from your heart and in this sense, change your soul, your life. Only then will there be movement forward in your spiritual life, then will you get closer to God.”
What is passion? Passion is a spiritual phenomenon, i.e. not amenable to complete rational explanation. The spiritual is higher than the spiritual, the spiritual is also very often irrational, and therefore everything here is impossible to explain, it is impossible to understand with the mind, but you can understand a lot with the heart, having experience.
Based on the teachings of the Holy Fathers, we can say that all passions act in the human heart in some mysterious way, replacing the natural spiritual activity of the soul, which was provided for by God's providence during the creation of man.
A typical example of passion is alcoholism. You know that the Psalter says: “Wine makes glad the soul of a man.” Wine is that wonderful drink that Christ chose for the most important sacrament - the sacrament of the Eucharist. This is that pure and beautiful drink that is used in the liturgy and added to the Blood of Christ. What could be higher than this? Wine is also used in ordinary human life, when guests gather, when there is a holiday, and everyone knows that wine is an indispensable treat at any holiday, and there is nothing wrong with that. But such drinking of wine can be replaced by alcoholism; the attraction to wine can be made painful, unnatural, and even unnatural. Then the person gradually begins to perceive wine differently, he no longer chooses wine High Quality, it is important for him that it be stronger, alcohol is important for him. Now he only wants vodka, only alcohol. In the end, he doesn't care what it is anymore pure alcohol or something else, he is ready to drink almost varnish. Just to get drunk and be drunk, just to feel the effect of alcohol in yourself. Is this what, say, people experience when they come to visit a party and are poured a glass of wine? Of course not. This is where a change occurs. And so it turns out that such a drunkard is ready to give up his job for a bottle of vodka, lose his family, he drinks everything in the world: his wife, his children, his position, all his money, he begins to steal, he is threatened with prison, finally, the man stops he eats because he has nothing to eat. But he doesn't stop drinking. It often happens that such drunkards reach extreme exhaustion, wallow in ditches, but every day, by hook or by crook, they find themselves a bottle of wine, without which they can no longer live.
Satisfaction of passion becomes a human need, perverted, even stronger than natural needs. That's what's amazing. This is already a substitute nature, similar to cancer, when the natural cells of the human body are replaced by other modified cells. They begin to grow faster than normal ones. And they grow into natural organs, replacing natural human flesh. The walls of organs and blood vessels become painfully altered and cancerous. They still perform some functions, but they already carry within them. Such a replacement of normal life, natural flesh with painful tissues leads sooner or later to death.
This is how every passion works. It replaces the natural properties of the human soul and then becomes a new, painful, perverted tissue of this soul, which begins to live by passions, instead of living by its correct, spiritual needs, spiritual attractions. The removed fathers say that every passion is the action of certain demons, demons in a person. Such a substitution always occurs due to the defeat of demons.
A person in his normal state lives by the grace of God, lives by God. It may happen that, having left God, a person begins to live by some kind of dark “grace”. Feeling the impossibility of life without grace, he can replace it, live with this dark force. And this infected dark force, entering him, changes his composition, changes normal tissues, just as poisoned air, entering a person, begins to change everything in him: cells, blood, and all this can gradually become cancerous.
This is how passion works. And if you don’t see this passion in yourself in time and don’t start fighting it, then sooner or later it will develop in a person to terrible proportions and will begin to threaten a person’s life, only not physically, but spiritually.
It must be said that the actions of passions, like any vice, have an amazing pattern. At first they act mysteriously and spiritually, then, at a certain stage, such passion begins to change a person’s soul on an emotional, spiritual level. And then it changes physical life. For example, alcoholism. At first it is passion, and the person is unable to think about anything except drinking, but he is still healthy. Then a painful state sets in, then delirium tremens, then cirrhosis of the liver. And so is any passion.
Thus, passions are life with demons. And therefore, very often the holy fathers say directly that the demon of fornication, the demon of wine drinking, the demon of gluttony operates in man. Very often they do not even consider it necessary to specify where the passion is and where the demon is, because in meaning they are the same thing. Passion is a kind of demonic action. We, as you know, sometimes call people possessed by demons, possessed by demons. And even attempts are made to reprimand and cast out demons. Holy people knew how to do this.
The teaching about spiritual life, about passions, says that every person subject to the action of passion is possessed, to some extent possessed. Only the extent of this obsession is different. If passion has settled in a person’s heart and forces that person to follow itself, then the person has already become obsessed to some extent. This means he no longer has control over himself, he fulfills the will of the demons. You yourself understand that this is a very terrible path, this is the path of destruction, the path of spiritual death, and the priest, confessor is obliged, as a spiritual doctor, to help everyone who comes to him to see the passions in themselves, must point out these passions, teach them how to fight them, convince repentant that this is necessary. How can a doctor, seeing an unhealthy complexion in a person, say: “You know, you need to get checked. You may have tuberculosis." And to another he will say: “You need to check your liver, maybe you have gallstones.” To understand, to see, to examine a person’s soul, to explain his situation to the penitent and to give him a remedy is the duty of the priest.
Nowadays, all this very rarely happens in confession. As a rule, confession is turned into something else in our country. “I forgive, I permit,” the priest cannot even read the prayer of permission to everyone. One very worthy priest told me:
I asked:
- What do you mean: will you break it?
- Well, don’t you know, older priests almost always have some kind of tongue twister, they can’t pronounce some words, they reach a certain point, they say this same tongue twister and then on. He has already broken his tongue, he can no longer speak, because he repeats the same formula a thousand times, he is always in a hurry, and this just causes some kind of stuttering.
Our church life and our confession very often take place in the atmosphere of such a “breaking” language. However, if we do not know how it should be, then we will never improve and will never strive in the right direction. We will go to God knows where if no one tells us where the only, true, correct direct path is.
Speaking about confession, it must be said that different sins, different passions require completely different treatment and different approaches. And here it would be appropriate to talk about what is called the typology of sinners. You can never schematize people and you can’t divide all people into some precise groups: this one, that one, trying to put everyone into categories. But still, just as one can systematize illnesses, one can also find some gradations here that will help the shepherd navigate the sea of people that very often threatens to swallow him up.
So, bearing in mind the typology of sinners, we can say: children represent a very special part of pastoral work. Many of you have children of your own, some of you are teachers, you yourself understand that you need to have a special approach to children, special experience in working with children. Children in confession are a joyful and at the same time very difficult phenomenon. Joyful, because, thank God, they do not have serious sins; as a rule, young children do not yet have such strong passions, although very often they already have very developed passions. Even if some kind of passions are already obviously at work in them, nevertheless, misdeeds sometimes cause a smile more: the child comes up and repents, says that he sinned gravely, did not listen to his mother, did something “wrong.” Sometimes after the terrible confessions that one has to hear, a feeling of relief and joy comes that there are still such pure children's souls in which, in general, everything is fine. But you can’t tell a child that. You can't say:
- You, dear, go, everything is fine with you, you have nothing to confess.
Need to find with a child mutual language, it's not that simple. Very often people begin to pretend, talk to the child in some kind of fake “childish” language, begin to somehow imitate child psychology and thus try to create the illusion of mutual understanding. Children, having a pure soul, are very sensitive to any falsehood. And they will not accept a priest who is false. Such a priest will not help this child. He won't inspire confidence in him. Or it will create in his soul an image of something completely wrong, false, an image that is very dangerous and harmful in the future.
A priest must always be simple, must always be himself with all people. But especially with children. He should not imitate some friend, not flirt with little ones, as happens during children's games. He must be completely serious, he must be a father or grandfather, he must speak to the child like an adult to a little one. But say things that a child can understand. The child does not need any cleverness, he does not need any very complex explanations, but he needs to be simply and seriously explained what is bad in his life, he needs to feel and understand that doing this is bad. But it is even more important that he feels love in the priest, confessor, feels that warmth, that light that the grace of God gives.
He will not understand this with his mind, but if he immediately feels it, then for him the priest will become a beloved being, and he will always want to come and say everything that he has done that is bad, and he will feel everything with his heart, although, perhaps, he does not realize anything. Then the child will repent with tears, and will correct himself, and will work, and will strive for the one who touched his soul with a warm and loving hand. In this sense, it is much easier with a child than with an adult. There is no need to explain much here if there is true love. If there is no love, if the priest does not have the opportunity to enter the child’s life, then nothing will come of it. Then confession will be in vain and, possibly, a harmful waste of time. Everything can turn into a formality and the child will not understand, but will feel that in church some kind of formalism is required of him. He will treat this the way children at school treat an annoying “teacher”: well, you need to do arithmetic, answer some lesson... In fact, this child is convinced that he doesn’t need any arithmetic, because this belief was instilled in him by the teacher because the teacher doesn't need him. And since the teacher doesn’t need him, it means he doesn’t need everything that this teacher brings with him. Let it be arithmetic, let it be reading or drawing, it doesn’t matter, everything is not necessary.
The same scheme applies here too. If the child does not feel that the priest needs him, that the priest cares about him, that the priest loves him, then everything that the priest says or does, even the church, the temple, will not be needed by him.
There are particular difficulties with children now, because there are children who come to church from non-believing families. They were raised from birth without faith in God. You need to teach them everything, and very often it turns out that the child is completely alone in his family. He cannot learn anything from anyone in the family, ask anyone anything, and then, growing up, he begins to teach his parents faith. This happens now very, very often. And, of course, the priest must especially strengthen such a child, for he is alone in front of adults. So dad, mom and grandparents let him go to church. But when he comes from church and says that he needs to fast, and they don’t understand why, when he says that he needs to pray, or starts to pray, these grandmothers or parents look at him like he’s crazy and start: “You won’t do it again.” go there, what are you doing?” How can a child resist adults and the authority of his parents? How will he resist, how will he defend his faith, what he brought from the church? Only if the priest supports him, if he enters his life and gives him his strength, gives him the necessary authority, if he inspires him with trust, faith, if the child can say: “No, you don’t know, but the priest is better.” knows you." Now, if he can feel it and say it, then he will endure it. The priest must help him in this with his behavior, his love.
But much more difficult problems arise in another case: when children grow up in a believing family. This is a problem that I don't know how to deal with. This is perhaps the most difficult and relevant thing for us.
Children raised in believing families eventually become bored with what their parents offer them. Parents and the priest must be prepared for this. Having become accustomed to everything churchly, as ordinary, ordinary, as something that is imposed by elders along with many other things, which is unpleasant, uninteresting, but necessary to do, they begin to not quite consciously reject all this. Such children begin to exhibit some kind of centrifugal energy. They want something new for themselves, they want to comprehend some unknown ways of life, but everything that their mother, or grandmother, or father says, all of this already seems insipid. Such children very easily find faults with church people, who begin to seem to them like hypocrites and boring moralists. They very often no longer see anything bright enough in church life. Such a vector, such a direction from the church makes them essentially unable to perceive the grace of God. Participating in the sacraments, even in communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, essentially speaking, they do not experience anything; they find themselves, oddly enough, in childhood those with little ability to experience the communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ as a union with God, as a meeting with God. For them, this is one of the usual, Sunday, holiday states. For them, church often becomes a club where they can meet and talk with each other. They can talk about something interesting here, wait impatiently for the service to end and they will run away together somewhere in secret from their parents into the outside world, at least not the church world.
Sometimes it’s worse: they like to play pranks in church, even this happens, or make fun of various people who are here in the church, sometimes even the priests. If they know how to do something, if they study in a church choir, then they will with great pleasure discuss how they sing today and - endlessly and endlessly all sorts of ridicule at choirs, at different singers, who sings how, who hears something, who what can, who understands what. They always feel like little professionals who are able to appreciate all this. And in such ridicule they can go through the entire liturgy and the entire all-night vigil. They may completely cease to feel the holiness of the Eucharistic canon. But it won’t hurt, when the Chalice is brought out, to be the first, or maybe not the first, on the contrary, let the little ones go ahead and very decorously approach the Chalice, take communion, then just as decorously leave, and after three minutes they are already free, everyone has already forgotten and again indulge in what is truly interesting. And the moment of communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ... this is all familiar to them, everything is known, all this is of little interest.
It is easy to teach children to always appear Orthodox: to go to services, to let the younger ones go to the Chalice first, to give up their seat. They can do all this, and this, of course, is good. It's nice to see such well-mannered children. But this does not mean at all that they live a spiritual life, that they truly pray to God, that they seek communication with God. This does not at all mean striving for a real union with the grace of God.
According to this way of life, difficulties arise in confession. A child who comes to confession from a young age (usually seven years old) receives communion very often according to tradition. Let's say, in our church, children receive communion at every liturgy to which they are brought or to which they come themselves. In fact, it happens once a week, sometimes more often. Confession for them at first is very interesting and longed for, because it seems to them that when they confess, it means that they have grown up, that they have already become big. And the five-year-old child really wants to start confessing as soon as possible. And his first confessions will be very serious. He will come and say that he does not obey his mother, that he beat his sister, or that he did his homework poorly, or that he prayed to God poorly, and he will say all this very touchingly, seriously. But very soon, literally in a month or two, it turns out that he is completely used to it, and then whole years go by when he comes up and says: “I don’t obey, I’m rude, I’m lazy.” This is a short set of common childhood sins, very generalized. He blurts them out instantly to the priest. The priest, who is tortured by confession beyond all measure, naturally forgives and resolves it in half a minute, and all this turns into a terrifying formality, which, of course, harms the child more than helps.
After several years, it turns out that for such a church child it is no longer clear that he should somehow work on himself. He is not even able to experience a real feeling of repentance in confession. It is not difficult for him to say that he did something bad. He says this completely easily. Just like if you bring a child to the clinic for the first time and force him to undress in front of the doctor, he will be embarrassed and it will be unpleasant for him. But, if he is in the hospital and every day he has to lift his shirt so that the doctor listens to him, then in a week he will do this completely automatically. It will not cause any emotions in him. So it is here. Confession no longer causes any distress in the child. The priest, seeing this, finds himself in a very difficult position. He doesn’t know how to deal with this, what to do so that the child comes to his senses.
There are some very striking examples when a child not only disobeys, is lazy and offends his younger ones, but he is blatantly disgraceful. For example, at school he interferes with the whole class’s activities, in the family he is a living negative example for all younger children and he simply openly terrorizes the family. Then he begins to behave disgracefully in society: swearing, smoking. That is, he begins to have sins that are completely unusual for church families. However, the priest does not know how to bring him to his senses. He tries to talk to him, tries to explain to him:
“You know that this is not good, it’s a sin.”
Yes, he has known all this well for a long time, he knows perfectly well that this is a sin. He can even tense up for five minutes and say:
- Yes, yes, I’ll try, I won’t do it again...
And you can't say he's lying. No, he's not lying. He will actually say it in the usual way, just as before dinner he can read the Lord's Prayer more or less seriously in one minute, but no more. After this familiar “Our Father” has passed, he again lives outside of prayer. So it is here. He can say something so that later he will be allowed to take communion, and after a day, two days later, he returns to his rails and continues to live the same way he lived. Neither confession nor communion bear fruit in his life.
In addition, the priest notices that the more he gets excited and begins to talk to this child more carefully, more seriously, the faster his funds are exhausted. And he will give almost everything he can, but will not achieve the goal. The child “eats” all this very quickly and continues to live the same way as he lived. We give him stronger medications, he absorbs them all, but they do not affect him. He is not sensitive to these drugs, he does not perceive anything. This is such a degree of petrification of conscience that is simply amazing. He refuses; with a believing child, the priest can no longer find any adequate language. He starts looking for another way, he gets angry with the child. But as soon as he starts to get angry, contact with him is completely lost. And such a child often says: “I won’t go to him again, to this Father Ivan. Well, he’s angry all the time, and here they are angry with me, and there they are angry with me”...
You see, this problem is one of the most difficult for a confessor. Here you need to think very hard about what you need to achieve here, what you need to strive for. It seems to me that we should strive to delay the start of confession as long as possible. Some naive mothers (there are a lot of them), if a child behaves badly at six years old, say:
- Father, confess to him so that he begins to repent, maybe it will be better.
In fact, the sooner we start confessing him, the worse it is for him. We must remember that it is not for nothing that the Church does not impute sins to children until they are seven years old (and previously it was much longer). Children cannot be entirely responsible for everything in the same way as adults. Moreover, their sins, as a rule, are not mortal. They just behave badly. And it is better to allow them to take communion without confession than to profane the sacrament of repentance, which they are not able to truly perceive due to their small age.
You can confess such a sinner once every seven years, and then at eight years, and again at nine. And delay the start of regular, frequent confession as long as possible, so that confession in no case becomes habitual for the child. This is not only my opinion, this is the opinion of many experienced confessors.
There is another very important limitation. Perhaps such children, who clearly suffer from addiction to the shrine, should also be limited in the sacrament of communion. In this case, it is better that children do not receive communion every week, then communion for the child will become an event. I'll tell you about my personal experience. When I was little (it was still Stalin’s time), the question was this: if I go to church all the time, then the schoolchildren who live nearby, my classmates, will definitely see me, they will report this to the school, and then, most likely, they will put me in prison. parents, and I will be kicked out of school. I grew up in a believing family, and my parents were believers from birth, almost all of our relatives were in prison, my grandfather was in prison three times, in prison and died: so there was a real danger, going to church was often impossible. And I remember every time I came to church. This was a great event for me. And, of course, there was no question of being naughty there... If you like, I went to church a few times as a child. It was very difficult, so it was always a huge holiday. I remember very well what a great event the first confession was for me. Then the second one (probably a year later), in general, throughout my entire childhood I went to confession several times, just as I received communion several times throughout my entire childhood. For many years I simply did not receive communion or received communion extremely rarely; each time I had to suffer through it. Even as an adult, I experience the communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ as a great event for myself. And it has never been otherwise. And, of course, I thank God that the Lord did not allow me to get used to the shrine, to get used to the church, to church life.
Oddly enough, the conditions of persecution, which prevented many from being believers, were more favorable for those who were still in the church. Not so now. I will say that my mother taught me to pray from birth, as soon as I can remember, I remember that I prayed to God every day in the morning and evening. I remember that she taught me to read “Our Father” and “Virgin Mother of God,” and I read these prayers almost until adulthood. And then I added “I Believe” and a few of my own words when I commemorated my loved ones. But this: morning prayers and evening prayers - I did not read in childhood until quite late. That is, I began to read them when I wanted to do it myself, when it seemed to me that my prayer was not enough, I wanted to look at church books, and I saw there were morning and evening prayers and I discovered them for myself, found them and began to read them at my own request.
I know that things are not like that in many families now. Now, on the contrary, parents try to force their children to pray as much as possible as early as possible. And aversion to prayer arises in a surprisingly quick time. I know how one wonderful old man directly wrote on this occasion to a big child: “You don’t need to read so many prayers to you, read only “Our Father” and “Rejoice to the Virgin Mary,” and don’t read anything else, nothing else is needed.” .
It is necessary that the child receives the holy and the great in such a volume as he is able to digest. What is the reason? My mother was raised in a religious family. And she taught me the same way she was taught. She remembered her childhood and taught her children from memory. As it usually happens in life. And then there was a break in the continuity of spiritual experience and several generations dropped out of church life. Then they find church life as adults. When adult girls or women come, they are naturally given big rules, they truly repent. And when they get married and have children, they give their children everything that they once gave them when they came to church. Obviously this is what happens. They do not know how to raise children, because no one raised them in church life as children. They try to raise children the same way they raise adults. And this is a fatal mistake that leads to the most disastrous results.
I remember very well one of my mother's friends from a close church family who had many children. And I remember that she took her children to church from childhood. But how? She usually brought the children to the moment of communion, or very shortly before communion. They entered the church, where they had to behave absolutely reverently, there they had to tiptoe, fold their arms, take communion and immediately leave the church. She did not allow them to make a single turn of the head or say a single word in church. This is a shrine, this is the holy of holies. This is what she instilled in her children and they all grew up to be deeply religious people.
This is not how we do things anymore. Our mothers want to pray to God, they want to stand the entire all-night vigil, but there is nowhere to take the children. Therefore, they come to church with their children, let them go here, and themselves pray to God. And they think that someone else should take care of the children. And the children run around the temple, around the church, causing mischief, fighting in the temple itself. Mothers pray to God. The result is atheistic education. Such children will easily grow up to be revolutionaries, atheists, immoral people, because their sense of sacredness has been killed, they have no reverence. They don't know what it is. Moreover, the highest thing was knocked out of them - the shrine in its highest expression. Even the church, even the liturgy, even the communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ - nothing is sacred to them anymore. What other authority will then be able to turn them towards the church is unknown.
That is why, it seems to me that it is very important for children to limit their visits to Church, the number of visits, and the time of visits. And maybe in communion, in confession. But this is very difficult, because as soon as we start giving the children communion without confession, there will be indignation, they will say: “How is it possible to take communion without confession after seven years?”
And so the disciplinary norm, which was introduced for adults, and which also has some irregularity in itself, turns out to be disastrous for children. We need to turn the lives of children around in such a way that they deserve their church life. If you don’t suffer, then deserve it. You need to work hard somehow in order to be able to go to church.
It often happens that a child doesn’t want to go to church, but his mother grabs his hand and pulls him along:
- No, you will go to church!
He says:
- I don’t want to take communion.
- No, you will receive communion!
And this causes complete disgust for everything in the child. The child begins to blaspheme and blaspheme right in front of the Chalice and beats the mother with his hands and feet and breaks away from the Chalice. But it should be just the opposite. Child says:
- I want to take communion!
And the mother says:
- No, you won’t take communion, you’re not ready, you’ve behaved badly this week.
He says:
- I want to confess.
And she says:
- No, I don’t allow you, you can’t go to church, you have to earn it.
It happens that children are taken from school to go to a church holiday. And it seems that this is good and I want them to join in the holiday and the grace of God. I have children myself, I do this myself, so I understand this very well. But here again there is a very big problem. This is only good when the child deserves it. And if he can always skip school and go to a holiday, then for him this holiday already becomes a holiday because he skips school, and not because it is, say, or, or, because he doesn’t have to go to school today and do homework. That is, all this is devalued and profaned to no end. And this is unacceptable. Perhaps it is better, more useful for the soul of a person, for the soul of a child, to say:
- No, you will not be at the holiday, you will go to school and study.
Let him cry better at his school because he didn’t make it to church for the Annunciation. This will be more useful for him than coming to the temple and not appreciating anything at all, not feeling anything in the temple. Everything in a child's life must be rethought from this point of view.
And confession should not be so much persuasion, the priest should not so much shame as he should put everything in its place. He needs to take courage in spite of his parents, to say:
- No, let your child not go to church yet.
Calmly, don’t get angry, don’t persuade, but say:
“Children like these bother us in church.” Let your child come to church and receive communion once every few months...
When a young man wants to evade the army, his parents try in every possible way to protect him and save him. And the confessor says:
- No, let him go to serve. This will be more useful for him.
So it is here. The child needs to be given harsh conditions so that he understands that the church is an elusive goal for him.
During confession, the confessor should communicate with the child with great love. Don’t be a boring, strict teacher, try to convey to the child that he understands him, understands all his difficulties, I must tell him:
- This is all true, of course. It’s really difficult for you, you really can’t cope. But what does this mean? This means that you do not need to take communion every week. If so, then come back in a month or two. Maybe you will come differently.
You need to talk to the child quite seriously and force the parents to put all this in its place.
Church can only be a great, joyful, festive and difficult experience. Church life and confession should become desirable for the child, so that the child perceives communication with his spiritual father as something very, very important for him, joyful and difficult to achieve, very long-awaited. This will be so if the priest is able to find personal contact with the child at the right time.
Very often you have to wait out the transitional age, you have to reach 14, 15, 16 years. Not always, but it happens. Especially with boys, they can be incredibly naughty, and it’s simply impossible to talk to them seriously. It is necessary to reasonably limit their presence in church and participation in the sacraments. And then the time will come when it will be possible to say:
- Well, now you’re big, you’ve grown up, let’s talk seriously...
And a kind of common life develops with the confessor, a personal relationship on a serious level, which becomes very valuable for a teenager.
All of the above about children can be summarized very briefly. Under no circumstances should confession be allowed to become simply a part of church life for children. If this happens, then this is a profanation, this is a very difficult problem to correct. Since we do not always have the opportunity to do what we think is necessary, we must be in the general mainstream, and in our church general confession is actually allowed, you can explain to the child that if he knows that he has no serious sins, then in this since he must be content with a prayer of permission. Now let's move on to a similar problem with adults. It is a great, great joy for a priest when some sinner or sinner comes after some misfortunes or life catastrophes that forced them to reconsider their life and find faith. He or she usually comes with very serious sins and cries at the lectern about his sins. And the priest feels that this person has come to truly repent, and now his new life begins. Such repentance is truly a holiday for the priest. He feels how the grace of God passes through him and renews this person, gives birth to him for a new life. It is in such cases that the priest understands what the sacrament of repentance is. This is truly a second baptism, it is truly a sacrament of renewal and union with God.
Such cases happen, and not so rarely. Especially when adults come.
But then the person becomes an ordinary Christian. He began to go to church often, often confesses and receives communion, and over time he gets used to it.
Or maybe this is the same child who grew up in a believing family and has now become an adult. Maybe this is some good chaste girl. Nice, bright, look at her - a sight for sore eyes. But at the same time she does not live a spiritual life at all. He doesn’t know how to repent, he doesn’t know how to confess, he doesn’t know how to take communion, he doesn’t know how to pray. She reads out some of her own rules, often takes communion, but at the same time she does not know how to do it as she should. She has no spiritual work.
Such people, of course, do not behave like children. They do not run around the temple, do not talk or fight.
They have a habit of championing all services. If from childhood, then it is already quite easy, it becomes a need. And you can stand like this all your life in church and be a good person in general. Don't do anything bad, don't kill, don't commit fornication and don't steal. But there may not be spiritual life.
You can go to church all your life, take communion, confess, and still not truly understand anything, not begin to live a spiritual life, or work on yourself. This happens very, very often. And, thank God, this is prevented by sorrows, of which there are quite a lot in our lives. Some difficult experiences, even serious sins and falls, turn out to be providentially allowed into a person’s life. No wonder there is such a proverb: “If you don’t sin, you won’t repent.”
It turns out that a person who grew up in the church often discovers for himself that real repentance is only when he somehow sins seriously. Until then, he had gone to confession a thousand times, but he had never understood, never felt what it was like. This, of course, does not mean that you need to want everyone to fall into serious, mortal sins. This means the need for our church life to be very clear. It must be something difficult for a person to start working internally. And the task of the confessor is to make sure that the person works, works, so that he does not just carry out some of his usual everyday routines, serving some holidays, some services. He needs to have a goal so that he can achieve this goal. Each person should have his own program of spiritual life.
This is very difficult, especially in our time, when the priest actually cannot cope with the huge number of people who come to him. Remember that before the revolution in Moscow, which was limited to outposts, there were 600 churches and, accordingly, more than 1000 priests. Now in Moscow, which has become ten times larger, there are about 300 churches and about 400 priests. Previously, Moscow had a million inhabitants. Now 10 million. Of course, the priest’s opportunities now are completely different. It cannot cope with such a huge influx of people. And, nevertheless, we need to look for some kind of active inclusion in the life of every member of the Church.
This is very unusual and untraditional for our Church. As a rule, we have already adopted something completely different: the priest stands at the lectern and listens. And then he’ll take it and say: “Well, don’t do that again, it’s not good.” Then he will say: “I forgive and allow”... Well, maybe he’ll add something else, and that’s all.
And even the elders. They mostly listen, remain silent, and then with a few comments they somehow correct it and let it go. Some passivity on the part of the confessor is traditional for us. It must be remembered that among the true elders this was only external passivity. True elders are people of great spiritual achievement. When a person approached them, they first of all began to pray for him, i.e. immediately became active spiritually. And they inevitably included this person in a completely different, spiritual life. Everyone who visited Elder Ambrose or Venerable Seraphim was left with the feeling of a grandiose event in their life. Those. The outwardly passive behavior of the confessor did not contradict the active inclusion of the person who came into a new life; here a revelation took place for him.
In our time, when a confessor stands in confession and his spiritual children approach him, his goals are to amaze and surprise them, some other goal must be achieved. The priest must learn, at least briefly, but to interact with his spiritual child in such a way that he goes to confession, in a sense, as if he were going to a difficult exam, when we go and don’t know whether we will be able to pass or fail. Interaction with the confessor here should be very serious and deep:
- How did it work for you now - did it work out or not? Last time you repented of this. Now can you say that you have overcome your evil skill? Did it work or not?...
The priest should teach how to confess.
Getting used to sacred things, getting used to confession is one of the most terrible evils in our church life. And this happens because, firstly, there is no opportunity or conditions for correct confession, and secondly, we do not have a correct understanding of what confession is for those who live a constant church life, who often receive communion.
There is such an approach - cancel confession, give communion without confession. This is exactly what they do in the West, in France, in America. People confess once a year or once during Lent, and the rest of the time they receive communion without confession. There they tried to return to the ancient norm, when one needed to take communion often and confess rarely. It seems that formally everything is correct. And one could expect, it seemed, good results. But no. It only got worse because people stopped confessing altogether. They now come to confession once a year. The priest begins to ask them something, and they say:
- Why are you asking me? I have not sinned in anything. Yes, I don’t do anything like that. Why are you pestering me with questions...
Maybe not in these words, but in approximately this tone. A person no longer understands at all why he needs to confess. Confession is completely lost there.
It turned out that it was mechanically impossible to return to the first centuries of Christianity. The fact is that in the first centuries there was a different level of spirituality. Then there were persecutions. If you start giving communion often and not confessing, then a completely new and terrible result is achieved. This is not an option.
But what we have now is not a solution, because our frequent confession is a twentieth-century phenomenon. It has never happened in the history of the Church. In the ancient Church they received communion often, but confessed very rarely. At first it was once in a lifetime: when a person fell away from the Church through committing some serious sin.
In recent centuries, mandatory confession has been introduced in Russia as the norm before each communion. And then they began to receive communion very rarely. Again, communion once a year, during Great Lent - it was an event. You had to fast, fast for a week, then you had to read prayers, a lot of canons and akathists, and then just come to communion. And for a priest this was always difficult, but still this only happened during Great Lent, and then again for a long time of the year, when there were actually no communicants.
There are also priests who say on an ordinary day, going to confession:
- Why are there so many communicants? What are you, birthday people or something? I will only give communion to birthday people.
This tradition is still alive.
We have decided to take communion often, and we cannot abandon the norm of confessing before each communion, adopted in Russia. From here a completely new phenomenon arose: frequent confession. This has practically never happened in history. Unfortunately, it leads to profanation of confession. A person cannot confess often, because if he lives a normal church life, then his frequent confession cannot be the confession that is called second baptism. There can be no union with the Church if a person has not separated. The very meaning of this sacrament changes, and confusion arises. This frequent confession can be filled with content only if it is replaced by the revelation of thoughts, which took place in ancient monasteries and was accepted as the norm. Then it was not a confession; the thoughts were received by the Abba, who often did not have holy orders. It had nothing to do with communion and was not called a sacrament. It was an educational moment, a moment of spiritual growth. Now something similar has been introduced into the sacrament of repentance, and often gives dubious results.
We need to find a way out. And there is only one way out. Not being able to cancel confession before communion, we must retain the prayer of permission. Ask people to repent of their sins, but do not confuse this with a detailed confession.
On the other hand, the priest must watch over his spiritual children and confess them in this sense:
— How are you moving in your spiritual life? What's new? Are you working on yourself or not? If not, then there is nothing to talk about. And if you work, then it should be visible.
Very quickly, those who replace spiritual life, who replace confession with who knows what, are eliminated here. There are very few people left, those who really work, who want and are able to work, who want to live a spiritual life.
Their confession is quite clear; there are few particularly difficult problems here. It's easy for a priest here. If a person works and tries, he does not have serious sins, but he will constantly repent of some of his sins. And this repentance will be effective. It will give results. It will be seen that he is working, that the grace of God is working in him.
Much more difficult and painful for the priest is another case, more common. When a person cannot begin to live a spiritual life. He tries, he wants, but he does not understand what spiritual work is.
In church life there are established customs that do not always fully agree with the correct understanding of the sacraments, the correct understanding of spiritual life, and in some cases are even harmful in a certain way. We will not be able to cope with this problem in a jiffy, because here we are dealing with a long “church” practice. Here we will certainly encounter a certain understanding of church life, which has already become, as it were, normative and carries within itself the authority of many people who have a high rank or certain experience in church life. All this is very, very difficult. But gradually this problem must be resolved anyway, because the existing unstable situation must be resolved. The result of this instability can be disappointment, even disaster, if we do not think and do not try in advance to direct the development of today's church life in the right direction.
A confessor must also be a teacher. To some extent, he must have a pedagogical instinct, have a pedagogical task. The absence of such pedagogical flair, talent, gift, knowledge, experience leads to the fact that the priest loses his spiritual children. He loses them not only for himself personally, but also for the Church. They may remain believers for a long time, perhaps even forever, but will be lost to the Church. There were a lot of such people in the last century, at the turn of the century. Most often these were believers who prayed a little all their lives. But they did not understand at all why they needed to go to church, why the liturgy was needed, why they needed to receive communion, why they needed to confess. They had a certain moral code close to the Christian one and an abstract understanding that “God exists,” a certain religious ideology. But there was no real religious life, church life. They lost it because this life compromised itself in pre-revolutionary educational institutions. After all, very often in pre-revolutionary gymnasiums and in all closed educational institutions, such as the Cadet Corps, or, for example, the Institute of Noble Maidens, there were house churches. And all pupils and pupils had to constantly take part in divine services. They had the Law of God, and they had to know very well all the disciplines that were provided for by the Law of God. Very often they studied well and until old age remembered a lot of troparia, knew the service, and knew the texts of the Holy Scriptures. But as soon as they received their diploma and left the educational institution, they no longer went to church, because church life was compromised in their eyes.
One can dare to say that even the revolution, with all its tragic consequences, was largely due to the de-churching of the Russian people. De-churching, which occurred as a result of the transformation of church life into church life, as a result of a decrease in grace-filled life, grace-filled communication with God before the performance of church rites. People stopped feeling what “sacrament” means, they stopped finding a meeting with God in the sacrament.
Here, of course, the role of the confessor, the priest, is key. And his responsibility is enormous. Woe to the priest who does not understand this. Woe to him who does not seek a way out of this situation. The one who easily agrees to the profanation of the church, grace-filled life in the eyes of a child or an adult, and, submitting to the flow of vanity, the pressure of time and the pressure of the surrounding world, gives in to his position, gives up the burning of his heart in exchange for well-being. He somehow makes ends meet and therefore agrees to give up the most important thing.
Unfortunately, even good priests very often find themselves in this situation, they find themselves captive of circumstances. They cannot cope with the difficulties that time creates. But we must remember that a priest, a confessor, should never be in captivity. He must be free, and a slave only of God, no one else. He must have a free conscience. He must always say what he thinks and do what his conscience dictates. He should never be disingenuous or hypocritical. This alone will attract many hearts, both adults and children, to him. He must always, with all sincerity, with all the burning of his heart, answer today’s questions, the spiritual need that faces him today. He must hear, see the troubled heart, childish or youthful, and find an opportunity to give an answer, lend a hand, help. It should never be formal.
Of course, here it is not only the priest, but also parents, and first of all, teachers and catechists, who must all try together to preserve the children’s generation for the Church. Nowadays, this problem is extremely acute. We are now rejoicing that many children come to church. But, I assure you, it is very difficult to preserve them for the Church; it requires a great feat. And it will not be surprising if it later turns out that most of these children will leave the Church, because what we now give them in the Church is completely insufficient for them, it does not fully answer the needs of their soul. This does not open the door to spiritual life for them, does not truly lead them to God, but, on the contrary, often hinders their upward movement.
The problems that arise with adults are similar, but have their own specifics. We can cite a number of characteristic cases typical of our time.
One of them is people who have recently come to church. A man comes to church for the first time. This could be a young man or a young woman, or older people. As a rule, they know very little. As a rule, they are already disfigured by a godless life, they have a whole heap of terrible mortal sins behind them. Perhaps they sinned by fornication, theft... Perhaps they seriously insulted their parents, slandered someone, renounced the truth, and lied. Perhaps they looked for and found some false ways of spiritual life, were fond of witchcraft, magic, spiritualism... Perhaps these people, having gotten married, cheated on their husband or wife, had abortions. Some of them simply sank to the bottom, some of them were drunkards, drug addicts.
Naturally, the first confession is an extremely difficult task for a priest. This is truly a feat. Typical situation: Sunday (usually such people come on Sunday), there are a lot of people in the church. As always, very little time is allocated for confession. It begins during the hours and the confession must be completed as soon as possible, at least before the Chalice is taken out. This is no more than an hour and a half. It is practically impossible to have time to confess to everyone. If a hundred people stand and confess for one minute, then that’s already an hour and forty minutes. And there, maybe not a hundred, but two hundred people. This means there can be no normal confession. What should a confessor do? Now, as a rule, the confessor conducts a general confession, very short, very formal. And I heard myself how venerable archpriests and abbots say:
“Don’t repeat everything that I listed at the general confession, please; if any of you have a sin that I have not named, then you can say very briefly. And the rest can simply come up and, bowing their heads, receive a prayer of permission.
In such conditions, the priest manages to let everyone pass under the stole, and they then go to receive communion. If among such people there is someone who came for the first time, then there is a very high probability that he will not come to church again, because he realized that “all priests are deceivers”, that profanation is being committed here, there is formalism here, there is really no one here They listen, the priest has no time to talk to the people, maybe he doesn’t want to. He will approach the epitrachelion quite formally, then also formally to the Chalice, will not feel anything and will leave.
The priest must understand that by doing this he is committing a crime. But you can do it differently by explaining to those confessing:
- Those of you who have received communion often, recently confessed, live a church life and do not have serious sins on your conscience, let them move forward and be content short confession. Quite short. Maybe even a prayer of permission...
This is especially true for those who are well known to the priest. Those who have grave unconfessed sins, or who have come to confession for the first time, cannot in any case be content with such a short confession. They should wait and you need to talk to them in detail. And it turns out that all those who came for the first time or have a grave sin on their conscience remain. Naturally, they do not make it to the Chalice, the liturgy ends, and the priest has to stay or agree on a time and confess them in detail.
It is extremely important that the priest listen carefully to such a sinner without judging him. So that the sinner understands that he is a confessor who will treat him with evangelical love, will not condemn him, will accept his confession with heartache and will try to help him and pray for him.
It is very important that he feels and understands that sins such as his cannot be formally resolved, that what is really required of him is not a formal listing of his sins, but repentance. It is necessary for him to have heartfelt contrition, so that he really mourns his plight and wants to ask God for forgiveness, so that he returns to his Father’s house and has the firm intention of starting a new life and never returning to his previous sins.
The priest needs to be sensitive enough to help him tell all his sins, not formally, not coldly, not asking in a legalistic tone:
- Did you do this? And did you do this?..
He must help a person open his heart. It’s not easy to assign him some kind of legal penance:
- Since you had an abortion, that means we won’t let you into the temple for 10 years, or 15 years. Or a hundred bows to you every day.
Such formal penances, in a person who comes to church for the first time, give rise to the feeling in the soul that there are some crazy fanatics operating here in the church, that there is no point in looking for a spiritual doctor here.
It is necessary that the penance be such that it will help a person to repent, pray, feel and understand that he has sinned, and if he works hard, he can come to church and begin his spiritual path.
Nowadays, such penances are often not punishments. We usually say that you must first of all read the Gospel. And very often I say that you need to read not the entire New Testament, but the four Gospels and the Acts of the Apostles, which is easier to read. The letters of the Apostle Paul are more complex; they can be put aside and not required to be read the first time. But everyone can read the four Gospels and the Acts of the Apostles. Sometimes you can give some other penances, you can give some book to read, you can tell the person to pray some kind of prayer, short, understandable. So that he makes several bows. It depends on the state of his soul, how he perceives this penance. It is necessary that he accept it with joy, so that he wants to fulfill it, so that it does not cause his protest. If we succeed in doing this, if a person feels warmth, if he feels love, if he feels that God is merciful to him, that it was in the Church that he found this mercy, then he will definitely come, he will definitely fulfill and really begin his new life. It is here that the priest most of all feels what the sacrament of repentance is. Here what is called the second baptism takes place. Such an incident convinces the priest that the sacrament of repentance has not disappeared from the life of the Church.
Over a certain period of time, such a sinner (or sinner) comes to church on the wings of joy, truly begins to live in a completely new way, reads church books with spiritual thirst, begins to pray to God, partakes of the Holy Mysteries of Christ, and approaches the priest with shining eyes. The fact that a new life has truly begun makes him feel the greatest happiness. This is a joyful time. Sometimes you hear:
- So I prayed and am praying, I feel so much of everything, and now the prayer itself is happening in my soul, maybe this is really the same mental prayer that I heard (or read) somewhere about, that I already feel how the prayer in my soul continues all the time.
This happens quite often, but this is not because a person has acquired mental prayer in his heart, but because he is in a state of delight, in a state of special heartfelt burning, when everything new easily impresses him, easily reveals itself to him and is perceived by his heart with a special fervor. That's why it all works out so easily. And then time inevitably passes (different for different people), sometimes very short, and church everyday life begins.
Here we are dealing with people who have already read the Gospel, who already know that they need to receive communion often, who know that they cannot commit mortal sins, and, as a rule, do not commit them. They do not fornicate, do not steal, do not have abortions, do not get drunk, do not inject drugs, do not renounce their faith, do not go to various psychics and sorcerers, and do not engage in spiritualism themselves. We can say with satisfaction that the level of their morality has risen significantly. They now have such prohibitions below which they will not fall. They are now members of the Church and live the church life. Church life, but is it a grace-filled life?
Unfortunately, it often turns out that the prayer that was first going on in their hearts, and the time when they prayed very joyfully, and with such burning, when tears flowed from their eyes at the memory of the fact that they were sinners, but the Lord forgave them and accepted when I wanted to start a new life - all this went away. And the tears no longer flow, and the prayer has stopped in the heart, and now it is no longer possible to read the morning or evening rule: it has become a burden. They no longer want to read the Gospel and spiritual literature no longer attracts them as much as before. Even the church services themselves have become habitual for them, they come to them, defend them because it is necessary, but they defend them formally, their hearts are silent. They don't pray to God, they just stand.
Many of them, perhaps, came to church and began to do something in the church: some became cleaners, others were watchmen, others stood behind the candle box, others became teachers of the Law of God, some became singers in the choir. They may have taken their place in the community. But the burning heart went away. They sometimes remember this and yearn for it, but over time they get used to the fact that it is not there, and it seems to them that it should not exist. The time of spiritual birth, childhood, is remembered only with longing, with regret. And how to return it is unknown.
Why does this happen? Because then, having turned to God from a godless life, sacrificing some of their passions, addictions, breaking away from their usual sinful life, they accomplished a feat. And this feat immediately, immediately bore rich fruit. Now their life has ceased to be a feat. She fell into a certain rut and became everyday life. As soon as the feat passed away, the spiritual fruits disappeared. It turns out that a grace-filled life with God is possible only when a person lives by feat. Without this feat, there is no spiritual, grace-filled life. What is the feat? It was clear then. If you have sinned seriously, you must repent. This is a feat. Now what is a feat when there are no serious sins?
The confessor must explain that now this feat must be different, it must be a feat of prayer, humility, love, obedience, a feat of constant struggle with one’s passions, with one’s pride, vanity, ambition, lust for power, irritability and all other passions. There must be constant attention to yourself, to your spiritual life, very demanding attention. You need to notice every false step you take, repent of it, and correct yourself. Without such a spiritual life, without spiritual work, there will be no grace of God in a person’s heart. And most of all, humility is needed, because “God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Humility is the basis of spiritual life, humility is given through obedience, through constant endurance of sorrows, through constant victory over one’s pride, over one’s vanity, over one’s resentment.
The confessor must teach all this every day, constantly to his spiritual children. And so it turns out that in some sense this is much more difficult than confessing a grave sinner who has come for the first time, who does not need to be taught, but needs to be listened to with love. He himself repents, he cries, you just need to show love and listen. And the sacrament is performed, he opens his soul. And this one comes and is silent. Or he simply reads his sins, or gives a note where it is written: “I sinned by idle talk, gluttony, irritability, intemperance,” etc. And some want to confess better, they say in detail that they went into the store and looked at some thing with passion, that they said such and such a rude word to their mother, and did something else. In a word, they take great care of themselves. And they tell all this to the priest very pedantically. It's all there. But the question arises: is there repentance?
Very often it turns out that there is no repentance anyway. The man followed all this so pedantically, brought it to confession, received permission from the priest from all these sins, but he cannot repent of it. This level of his spiritual life will continue to be his norm; he is stuck at this, and will not move forward. He turned out to be a spiritually limited person.
They say in such cases: it is given to one to live a spiritual life, to another it is not given. Indeed, among spiritual talents there are different ones. Some are given talents, others are not. A person may not be capable of something. And so he will die the way he was born. Maybe this is the case in spiritual life? And we can say that yes, of course. There are people who are more spiritually gifted, and there are people who are less spiritually gifted. There are people for whom spiritual life is clearer and easier, while others find it more difficult. But the teaching of the Church says that there are no people for whom spiritual life is impossible. It may be difficult, but this difficulty itself, if overcome, will give a person spiritual life. This will be a feat.
Every person can live by feat. When the feat begins, spiritual life begins. The feat can take completely different forms. But everything that is very difficult for a person, even exceeds his strength, his natural capabilities - this is a feat. When a person cannot do something, but with faith that God will help him, rushes towards this difficulty - this is a feat. As soon as a person begins to live by such a feat of faith, overcoming himself and his passions, spiritual life opens up for him.
The priest must be able to explain and show all this. But, alas, there are very few people who want to listen to him and follow his moral teachings. The overwhelming majority of those who fill our churches do not want to live by feat. They don't talk about it directly, as a rule. And sometimes they say. But more often than not they simply don’t want to. Although you explain everything and talk many times in a row, they nevertheless want to somehow deceive themselves, and at the same time the priest. And in such a way that it does not look like deception, in order to calm your conscience. They want to somehow find such eyes of a needle, so that there will be no achievement, and there will be spiritual life. To receive communion, confess, pray, be considered Orthodox, be considered good, and at the same time - no feats. This is a kind of Rubicon in a person’s life. His spiritual future depends on whether he understands it and wants to overcome it. And the majority stop before this rubicon and do not want to go further.
“There are a thousand of you here, you are all called my spiritual children.” But keep in mind that in reality there can only be ten of my spiritual children among you, and these 990 are imaginary children, they do not live a spiritual life.
You don’t have to say this, because talking is useless, but just know it for yourself. But no one gave the priest the right to drive them away. These are not my children, but these are the children of God. And what the priest cannot do, the Lord can do. It is very possible that such a person will flounder all his life and refuse to achieve feats, and then, at the very edge of life, some serious illness, cancer, will force him to begin a spiritual feat. And maybe in the last week or three days of his life he will suddenly wake up and repent, and the Lord will open the gates of the Kingdom of God to him. Or maybe it won’t be three days, but last years. Today he turns out to be so lazy, and tomorrow some kind of grief will fall on him, trouble, difficulties, and he will be forced to reconsider everything and start living differently. This no longer depends on the priest. The priest can keep this person afloat. You don’t need to drive him away, but say:
- Don’t think that you live a spiritual life. You have no spiritual life.
He needs to witness this, but not drive him away from the Chalice if he has not committed any mortal sins. Need to explain:
“It may happen that you give communion to your own condemnation.” But this is left to your responsibility, because you don’t listen, you live with your mind, your conscience. But if you want to take communion, take communion.
Of course, many cases are pathological. There have always been a lot of them, this is not surprising. Nowadays there are more of them than ever. Why? Because the state of sin is a pathology, not a norm. Our earthly life usually pathological. And few of us manage to somehow overcome this pathology. But it can be scary to a greater or lesser extent. Very often she is threatening. Often a person’s church life takes on completely abnormal forms, and then the life of a priest becomes extremely difficult, sometimes even painful.
A simple example. A very good parishioner has been taking her son to church since childhood. He believes in God, but when he reached the age of eighteen, he was tired of living the church life. And he, considering himself a believer, began to drink, sometimes, perhaps, steal, and commit fornication. And his mother cries over him, persuades him, drags him to his father, and he, according to old memory, comes and repents. Yes, he sinned, he committed fornication with someone again. The priest persuades him, explains, and he nods his head: “Yes, yes, I understand everything, I won’t do it again.” The priest gives him penance, forgives him, gives him permission. After some time he takes communion. It lasts for a while, then disappears again. If he’s gone for a month or two, it means he’s gone downhill again. Mom will bring him again after some time, and it will turn out that he has been fornicating again, got drunk again - everything is the same again. And this can be endless. Mortal, grave sins, disaster.
What to do here? According to ancient church canons, such a sinner must be excommunicated first for seven years, then for fifteen years from communion, so that he stands in the vestibule of the temple and does not enter the temple. In this way, church life was cleared of such people; there were no such people in church at the liturgy. Now not a single priest, even the strictest confessor, will dare to excommunicate a person from communion for ten years. And he will do the right thing. Life now is such that there is no moral possibility of giving such penances. The church, the temple is filled with such pathological people: drunkards, fornicators, thieves, boors, people who live, all the time getting out of the mud, and then falling back again. They seem to be walking through a swamp, jumping from hummock to hummock, and falling through again. They either crawl out or drown, and that’s why we have to drag them out. They are pulled out onto a hummock, and after being on this hummock for some time, at the next step they fall through again. What is the fate of each of them? No one knows whether he will drown in this swamp or emerge by a miracle of God.
What can a priest do here? Just pray and try to be lenient, forgive with love, allow, endure. Give as much penance as possible. For the most part, nothing is too much for these people. We have to excommunicate them from communion for a month, two, sometimes a year. But often everything has to be handed over to God. There is no real desire to live a spiritual life. This is a disaster, a pathology that was previously the exception has now become the norm. There are a lot of such people, the temple is filled with these people. That is why it is so often difficult in church; the atmosphere of sin, sinful consciousness and state spreads and affects those around us. There is no real faith here, there is not only no achievement, but even no desire to live a pure life. Passion in the nude, passion, i.e. demons. These are souls captured by demons. Sometimes it happens that the demon will let her go a little, like a cat releasing a mouse, only to grab her again a moment later and strangle her again. And will such a miracle happen that the mouse will run away from its cat? But we need to help these people, we can’t push them away.
For a priest this is a very difficult case, because the priest must act as if against his conscience. He must prohibit, not allow, because he sees that profanation is being committed again... But we must also remember the words of Christ: “I want mercy, not sacrifice,” the parable of the unrighteous steward, and show, as it were, unfair leniency to such sinners, pray for them, hoping that suddenly somehow the Lord will find a way to save these unfortunate souls.
The following pathology occurs mainly among women. This is the replacement of spiritual life with spiritual life.
Men and women are so created by the Lord that they need each other. A man's heart needs a woman's love, a woman's affection, a woman's softness, and understanding. It's female. No one can share sorrows and difficulties like a loving woman. That's why marriage exists. In the same way, a woman needs support in a man. We need masculine qualities of the soul - courage, firmness, strength, strength, power, independence, fearlessness. And therefore it is natural that a man is always looking for a life partner, and a woman is always looking for a companion. This is how God designed it. But life is such that it is easier for a man to find a companion than for a woman to find a companion. And many of them did not get married and do not have a real family life, and even if they did get married, in family life they receive only troubles, suffering, insults, and are even more in need of male support, because the husband has become a tormentor, not a loving one. assistant, did not become the stronger half, but became a tyrant. Such women very often come to church and look for support in the priest, compensation for the masculine principle. This is completely legal, naturally, there is nothing wrong or bad in it.
A priest can and should give a woman this support and can shelter such people around himself, help them live, arrange their church life. But there is room for error here. A priest cannot be a husband to anyone except his mother. And not only in the carnal sense, but also in the spiritual sense. He can be a father, and that's a lot. Often women receive support from a man's heart in their father. And there is much more in a spiritual father than in a blood father. But there must certainly be such an attitude as a daughter has towards her father. It's necessary. Only such an attitude can be legal.
But women very often do not catch this or, lacking spiritual caution, correct understanding, driven by nature, they strive to get something more, something that they lack in life. They want the priest to be for them not just a father, not just a confessor, but something else. So that he fills in their lives what they lack. This does not mean that extreme pathological case when women simply fall in love with a priest. Unfortunately, this also happens quite often. But this is a completely pathological case that I don’t even want to consider. He demands the sharpest rebuff from the priest. This is simply a grave sin. This is bringing adulterous things into the church, even more terrible than adulterous passions. When a woman falls in love with someone else's husband, it is bad. But if she falls in love with a priest or a monk, i.e. for someone who has promised himself to God, it is much worse. In such severe cases, the priest simply needs to drive such women away from him. But sometimes you can explain, reason, put in place and help to cope with this, since this often happens, not consciously, not quite seriously.
But I don’t want to talk about this, but about the fact that without going to such extremes, women very often strive to establish such a spiritual relationship with a priest that will imitate some kind of common life. This is not necessarily love, but it is some kind of spiritual comfort. They begin to demand that the priest pay attention to them, talk to them, communicate with them:
“Why didn’t you ask me something, why did you pass by me, why did you talk to that one for a long time, but only briefly to me?” Why are you so harsh with me, you don’t care about me?..
These kinds of experiences and feelings always mean that a woman’s relationship with a priest is emotional, not spiritual. She is not looking for a confessor in him, but for compensation for her unsettled spiritual life. There may not yet be love, but there is always some kind of partiality.
Affection, generally speaking, is not bad, it is quite natural to love your spiritual father, this is normal. This should even be, and such love can be very strong, even the strongest in a person’s life - love for a spiritual father. But the nature of this love is important. It needs to be the love of a daughter for her father. It must be spiritual love, for Christ’s sake. Love that sees in the priest a teacher of spiritual life sent by God. When you want to humble yourself, learn, obey, when you are ready to endure even harsh teaching, a strict reprimand, when you have faith that your confessor loves you, prays for you, thinks about you, and at the same time does not owe you anything at all, is not obliged to lead with you “pleasant” conversations or something like that. Such love will be both good and fruitful. And spiritual relationships, especially where resentment against the priest begins, are spiritually fruitless and harmful, they mean delusion.
Prelest is a Slavic word, “flattery” is translated into Russian as the word “lie”. Prelest means self-deception. A person thinks that he is on the right path, but in fact he is on the wrong path. If he is left on this false path, he may go away and will definitely get lost and die.
It can be very difficult for a priest here. Because duty dictates that he must pull the person back, must say:
- No, this is not at all what is needed. You must live completely differently. And the relationship should be completely different.
He says, and she is offended:
- Well, yes, you don’t tell her that. You love her, but not me.
She does not require that there be love, but she just needs emotional affection, emotional love. In itself, spirituality is not some kind of leprosy, it is not something bad, necessarily bad, not at all. A person has a soul and a body. And this soul can then unite with the spirit of God, spiritual life can begin in this soul. The spiritual very often begins with the spiritual. But it begins precisely in the soul, in mental life. So, as confessors say, the spiritual must be combined with the spiritual, the transformation of the spiritual into the spiritual must take place. And the priest must be able to put a person on the right track. A man comes and cries, he just needs warmth. He needs to say:
- Well, why are you so upset, come, I’ll help you, I’ll tell you something...
And one such spiritual word transforms a person, changes his life, attracts him. A person needs it, it is a legitimate human need. Therefore, one should not think that it is bad if a priest turns to someone with such warmth. And if a priest is stern and cold, who only loves “spiritually” and never stoops to the spiritual, then this is some kind of dummy; this does not happen in life. And St. Seraphim, and St. Sergius, and Elder Ambrose - they always knew how to show this spiritual warmth, say: “my joy,” and could give candy or something else, look tenderly at a person. But this should be just the beginning. And then from spiritual life, from spiritual relationships, from spiritual love there must necessarily be a transition to spiritual life. When a person comes, driven by a spiritual feeling or spiritual need, then very quickly you need to tell him:
- Well, now humble yourself, now you have seen, found the Church, found church life, a new path. Now let's humble ourselves, work, live a life of heroism. Now I won’t pat you on the head, but demand that you improve.
And then it happens that a person reaches some rubicon and does not want to go further. Women especially often don’t want to go further. They need soulfulness and nothing more, and they begin to ossify in this. This begins to worry the priest, he begins to demand and explain:
- So pointless, useless, this is a fruitless path.
And in response - only insults. In response - tears, hysterics, reproaches, scandals, sometimes indecent.
There are many cases when a confessor does not know how to get out of this situation, even an experienced and good one.
If spiritual powers are limitless, because they are given by God, nourished by the grace of the Holy Spirit, and the greater the need, the more these powers are given from God according to the principle “the hand of the giver shall never fail,” then the spiritual powers of the priest are limited. He begins to feel exhausted, he can’t do this anymore, and finally he breaks down and says:
- Go away. I can’t and I don’t want to, no matter how long this can go on!
It takes a lot of wisdom, patience, love, and heroism so as not to be captured by spiritual relationships, so as not to deceive anyone, not to deceive anyone, not to indulge in deception, but also not to push a person away so that he leaves in despair and never comes to church again.
We probably need to finish this topic by talking about the fact that there are a lot of mentally ill people in life now. There are many of them all over the world, especially here. And, especially, there are many of them in the Church. Where should a mentally ill person go if not to Church? This is his last refuge, where he can expect to find a merciful attitude towards himself. This is where he can have his place too. In all other places they refuse him; he is not needed there. And here he hopes that God needs everyone, and God needs him too. He comes and is here looking for this mercy, waiting for it. These people can find some use for themselves in the church and work with great benefit. But at the same time they create a very heavy ballast and a painful atmosphere that falls on the shoulders of the priest. With their sick feelings, sick souls, they burden the priest no longer as a confessor; a priest in our time needs to be a psychiatrist too.
Many psychiatrists now come to church and ask the priests to help them. They say:
- We can give medicine, bring a person out of an acute condition. And then we can’t keep him in the hospital forever. Where to put it next? Let him go to church. And you must keep him in the church.
And indeed, it turns out that in the church such people are rehabilitated and find a way of life. But they require a lot of attention, tact, and great strength on the part of the priest.
However, among them there are people who do not want to admit that they are sick. Being sick, they want to feel healthy and are not aware of their illness. These are the most difficult cases. The priest must explain to the person that mental illness is not a shame. This is not at all some kind of condition that has been erased from life. This is a cross. Let's say a lame man comes to church, no one pretends that he is healthy and no one tells him: “Run and jump like healthy people.” Everyone feels his lameness and will not give him obedience that he cannot do. Also mental illness mental illness- this is a cross. Such a person cannot do something the way healthy people do. But he can humble himself, and must humble himself. He doesn't understand much, but he must obey. And if you can explain to such a patient that he must humble himself, then everything is in order. He will definitely be rehabilitated and will be able to live safely in the church. Neither the Kingdom of God nor the life of grace is closed to him. If such a person does not want to humble himself, and in his mental breakdowns will impose a mentally unhealthy atmosphere on the priest, then there is trouble. Such people definitely need to be treated. They very often say:
- Why do you bless taking “pills?” Can mental illness be treated with pills? I came to church, I ask for God’s grace, I want God to heal my sick soul. Why do you send to doctors? What, the grace of God does not work?
The grace of God works, and God can heal anyone, even the sickest person, from any illness in an instant. He can make a lame man whole, he can make a blind man sighted, and he can make a mentally ill man healthy, that is certain. But why doesn’t the Lord want to? You are lame and will be lame all your life. Why? But because the Lord humbles you in this way, because God placed such a cross on you. Or maybe you once chose this cross for yourself. This could also happen.
We must humble ourselves. You are not given the opportunity to see with two eyes, but only with one. And you will be deaf... And we are all so deaf, askew, blind and sick, and each of us must bear our own cross. In the same way, a mentally ill person must also bear his cross. I have hypertension, I have to take pills. The Lord can heal me so that I have normal blood pressure. But the Lord prefers that I take pills rather than receive such a miraculous healing. I am not worthy of this miracle; I need to humble myself and recognize every day my weakness and my powerlessness, pull my weight and suffer from my illness.
It’s the same with any other illness, including mental illness. The Lord can heal you. But today, or maybe for the rest of your life, the Lord wants you to take pills. This does not mean at all that you do not need to receive communion, and that this is for you instead of communion. So I take communion, I live by the grace of God, but this does not mean that I don’t need to take pills for hypertension. It's still necessary. The Lord can heal me, but he does not heal me.
You need to be able to explain to a person that he must obey, humble himself, must admit that he is sick, and agree to his sick fate. Spiritual life is only possible when a person agrees to recognize the true state of things and humbles himself, agrees to live with the cross that the Lord gave him. This is faith. If a person does not want to live as God tells him, does not accept the cross and does not follow Christ, does not recognize the salvific path on which the Lord has placed him, then he is an unbeliever. If he is an unbeliever, how can you help him? Again the priest has to endure, humble himself, suffer, suffer. He thinks: “If the Lord burdens me with this, I will endure it, maybe someday the Lord will do something Himself.”
In any case, the priest must definitely see the truth and not allow himself to be deceived by any spiritual counterfeits. And I must tell this truth to my flock. If he doesn’t want to hear the truth, he still needs to tell the truth. It is the duty of the priest to bear witness to it. And then - what God will give.
I promised to talk about pastoral activity, which is not limited to the community and does not necessarily relate to spiritual children. A priest is very often invited to visit the sick and dying; the priest often has to be in critical situations. It happens that young people, a man or a woman, come and say that there is horror in their family, that divorce is threatening, or that a child is hopelessly ill, or a mother comes and says that her son or daughter has gone astray, has fallen into bad company, or is in prison. even, or that the wife died, or the husband died. In a word, a lot of tragic, dramatic situations always accompany the life of a priest.
The priest, whom we have so far considered as the head of the community, a person called to lead the established spiritual family, must at the same time be an ambulance. This function is never removed from it. He must be ready at any time of the day or night to go to the dying person in order to confess and give him communion, as they say, to give him farewell before death.
It must be said that the canons themselves provide for a special attitude of the priest to such problems. If you come to call a priest to give a farewell to a dying person, then the priest must leave the service and go to the sick person, because mercy and concern for the salvation of the human soul are above all. Even the liturgy in this case should also be left behind, if it has not yet reached the Cherubic Song. If they are already singing the Cherubic Hymn, then the priest does not have the right to leave the liturgy, he must serve it to the end and entrust the fate of the dying person to God.
Now this practically never happens. Previously, when these canons were written, it was meant that in every village, in every small town there is a temple, and parishioners live around this temple. And you can walk around the village, take communion and come back. Now we often don’t have such parishes, it’s better to call them “arrivals,” that is, our parishioners now mostly come to church, often from afar, often not on a territorial or geographical basis, they come specifically to the priest, no matter how far away he serves . Now it is almost impossible to confess to a dying person. In addition, it became quite rare to invite people to the dying person. Usually they give communion to the sick, but not to the dying.
Nevertheless, the priest has to go to the sick and seriously ill quite regularly. It happens that a person who dies for a short time, for the rest of his days, becomes the spiritual child of a priest. And he leads him to God on the last stretch of his life’s journey. If the dying person is still conscious, then this is a particularly favorable situation for the activity of the priest. A dying person is already detached from everything earthly, from earthly worries, from passions, addictions, he really thinks about eternity, his hope is only in God. The priest usually quickly finds deep contact with him. It is simple and easy to explain the most important thing to a dying person. He needs to be encouraged to confess, and he usually tries his best to remember his most serious sins and be sure to clear his conscience. False shame and everything like that recede.
For a young priest, such cases are very useful; they teach him a lot. What is required from the priest here is love, and only love. Here less spiritual experience is required, because the task is simpler. Such a dying person cannot be condemned, reproached, or educated with coldness or severity. What is needed here is simply mercy.
Nowadays, many people die from cancer. In ancient times, when the rite of communion for the dying was compiled, there were not so many deaths from this disease. Cancer patients often have an obstruction and are unable to swallow. We have designed a screw-on Chalice where you can take the Holy Blood from the liturgy and administer a small amount of Holy Blood to the dying without giving a Piece of the Body of Christ that they cannot swallow. This is exactly how Father John of Kronstadt received communion before his death. He took communion every day, but he was dying of cancer and could not swallow before he died.
Such dying patients present a difficulty for the priest. It happens that such a patient constantly vomits, then he cannot be given communion or only hope for a miracle. It happens that a patient is contagious, dies from tuberculosis or consumption, there is a real danger of becoming infected. It happens that the patient causes a very strong feeling of disgust, because the process of disintegration is already taking place, and it is difficult to communicate. It happens that a person is very disfigured by illness. The priest must overcome all this with his love. And in every such person one must see a child of God, one’s brother, one must take pity on him, and this pity and love must overcome all disgust and fear. The priest is in the service of God; he must think here not about himself, but about this repentant soul that has approached the final limit. And here, of course, the priest, more than anyone else, must pray, help a person in his mortal feat not to lose courage, not to lose faith. Very often, a priest has to tell a dying person that his illness is fatal, to say it when relatives do not say so. Sometimes it is necessary to baptize such dying people because they have not yet been baptized.
There are difficulties of a different order. For example, they are often called to see a person who, essentially speaking, is no longer fully in contact, and sometimes is not capable of contact at all. There are canons that prohibit giving communion to, in Slavic terms, “amazed” people, that is, those who are already completely unconscious, completely unconscious. According to the canons, it is forbidden to give communion to such people because every sacrament is performed by faith, but here a person can no longer realize or feel that he is being given communion.
However, there may be different approaches to this issue. Suppose a person close to you dies, a parishioner or parishioner who constantly went, took communion, prayed, you know their whole life. He fell very seriously ill, maybe he had a stroke or something like that, and now he dies. How can you not give him communion? Here the priest has the boldness to give such a person communion either with a drop of Holy Blood, if the patient no longer swallows, or with a small particle of the Holy Gifts, because he is sure that this person has not fallen away from the Church, he has lived in the Church all the time, and there is no obstacle to giving him communion in this moment. I have had to be in such situations many times. Amazing miracles happen, it happens that you give communion to a person, and he comes to his senses after this, sometimes even gets better and lives for some time, being terminally ill.
But if they call to a person who has never gone to church before, even declared himself an unbeliever, and now he has lost consciousness, is already dying, without having revealed his relationship to God, then the priest has no right to give communion to such a person. Here the canon has full force, because you cannot give communion to an unbeliever, a person who does not want to receive communion. We don’t know whether he wanted it or not, whether he believed it or not, he didn’t ask for it, he didn’t declare it.
In such cases, there are various temptations. Let me give you an example. One Christian woman, a very temperamental lady, a Jewish convert, who lived in the church for many years, spent most of her life trying to convert her sister to the faith. But she under no circumstances wanted to be baptized. And no matter how many years she tried to convince her, persuade her, explain her, gave her books, she angrily denied all these proposals and did not want to be baptized. But then she became seriously ill, and a Christian sister cared for her in the hospital. And she persuaded her: “Look how bad you feel, maybe you will die soon, well, get baptized.” But the sister still did not want to be baptized, she refused. Finally she lost consciousness. And the Christian sister decided that now nothing prevents her from being baptized. She starts calling, asking different confessors and even bishops what to do (and she had great connections). Some priests say no, it’s impossible. How can you baptize when she didn’t want to? And others say, well, try it. And, without receiving an unequivocal prohibition, this daring Christian woman nevertheless baptized her dying sister, who never came to her senses before her death. This means that she has now died “baptized”, now we can perform her funeral service, because the most important thing for us is to “bury” a person. With all due respect to this now deceased Christian woman, I, of course, told her that such a course of action was completely inappropriate. We cannot commit such violence against a person’s conscience, over his will. All such cases are, of course, invalid. I would not dare to recognize such a person as baptized. If we recognized him as baptized, it would mean that we recognize some kind of Orthodox magic. This means that we do not understand what an Orthodox sacrament is. Of course, this act was dictated by love, and she justified herself by the fact that the unbelieving sister was baptized in faith and out of the love of the believing sister. But in this case such “substitution” cannot be carried out. If she had at least given some hope, said at least: “Yes, I believe, baptize me,” and lost consciousness, then it would still be possible to do this. But she never agreed to numerous proposals.
In the same way, we cannot give communion to a person who has not expressed his faith. This happened to me. The daughter called to give communion to her dying mother. I'm coming. I see that this elderly woman is already completely unconscious. I'm asking:
— Has she ever received communion?
- Not really.
- Well, she asked, did you talk to her, did she ask for communion?
- Yes, no, I didn’t say so.
- Well, is she at least a believer?
- Well, I guess so, but actually I don’t know.
It was difficult for me to refuse her, but I said that I could not give her communion. Let us pray to God that she will come to her senses. And when she comes to her senses, then call her. And left. The next day or a few days later this daughter comes running and says:
- Father, she woke up.
I come to her, and she is still almost unconscious. But this daughter began to shake her, and she opened her eyes. I'm asking:
- Do you want to take communion, do you believe in God?
She says:
- Yes, I believe it, I want it.
I gave her communion, she immediately lost consciousness and died.
Of course, in this case it is no longer necessary to confess the person in detail throughout his entire life, as should have been done. But here we must rely on the mercy of God. We cannot refuse the last parting words, the communion to a person who desires this. The canons, however, sometimes provide for prohibitions and excommunication from the Church even on the deathbed. Usually prohibitions are “except on the deathbed.” When a person dies, he can be given communion even if he was prohibited.
In such cases there can be no formalism. The principle of mercy and healing is at work here, of course. But if you know that a person has somehow sinned very seriously in this life, you need to encourage him to at least somehow repent.
There is another large category of disabled people, unhappy people, sick people, handicapped children, who sometimes cannot be considered spiritual children. Simply because they are seriously mentally ill, or completely crazy, or some simply inferior people. There are quite a lot of these nowadays. Here, of course, the activity of a priest from an earthly point of view is futile. In ordinary communication you can educate people and a lot can be done. Nothing can be done with these people, they only consume the priest’s strength and cannot give anything in return. However, this activity is one of the most fruitful, surprisingly. There is always a miracle, the grace of God, at work here. A priest who rushes to help, cares for the unfortunate, the sick, the disadvantaged, the abnormal, the defective, will receive a hundredfold from God. We often think that these people are ballast and useless for the Church. In fact, this is not true at all. These, if you like, are people precious to the Church. This is the beauty of the Church. All these weak and sick people are people who occupy a special, wonderful place in the Church. Caring for them and serving them is precisely the most complete manifestation of the Christian spirit. This is the embodiment of Christ's love. And when a priest serves such people, he feels great joy and satisfaction, for here the gracious presence of God is always felt.
The pastoral activity of a priest, as you see, is multifaceted. And very often it happens that a priest must, according to the word of Christ, leave his 99 prosperous, healthy sheep, and rush after one dying or lost sheep. We have to give preference to the unfortunate, to people who find themselves in difficult circumstances. And the community that already lives under the priest sometimes turns out to be neglected. This specificity of priestly service contradicts earthly calculations and earthly approaches.
There are these words of Christ: “Do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.” In the life of a priest this is confirmed with particular force. If a priest does good deeds, maybe gives alms, money, or simply his strength, his time, does not spare himself, then he acts as if absurd. It happens that he has small amount money, and he has a family, children. And suddenly a man in trouble, hungry, comes to him and asks for money. Almost always, if a priest gives money with love, he will immediately receive much more. The Lord will definitely send to him someone who will give with interest and replenish him ten and a hundred times. Of course, you can’t act here according to this calculation: if I give it, maybe I’ll get much more. But the priest must always remember that he is a servant of Christ, and if he lives righteously and purely, then Christ will be with him. And all the Gospel commandments, all the Gospel promises will certainly be fulfilled in his life, in his service, if he sincerely serves God, according to his conscience, with love, with faith. And this really always happens. In his activities, a priest must be both reasonable and prudent, and he must have the gift of reasoning, but he must live by faith. Not by earthly calculation, but by faith.
First of all, the most important thing is to fulfill the will of God, to fulfill the commandment of God, this is the first duty, this is the way of life.
We can already finish this section on pastoral activity, on pastoral spiritual work, but it makes sense to return once again to the extremely acute and difficult problem that faces the life of every shepherd. It varies among different priests, but the same problem always arises. What comes out of his efforts? Here is a priest who has been working, perhaps for many years. What is the result of these efforts?
We can safely say that all good labors will bear good fruits, and all the tares that the priest himself sows, obeying his passions, will, of course, bear evil fruits. And he will have to disentangle all these evil fruits later. Although it may not be possible to calculate all this formally, the priest must still look back and see what is happening to him, what is happening to his flock. The fact is that very often our efforts to achieve a goal lead to the opposite goal. This law, which we call heterogeneity of purpose, must always be remembered. It happens that there is some very serious mistake in the activities of a priest, which he did not understand in time. Therefore, you need to turn around all the time, look at the fruits of your labors, so you sowed wheat, but what grows? Maybe only nettles grow, then you need to think about whether it’s worth continuing to engage in such farming?
Looking back at his work, in our time a priest sees, for the most part, a sad picture... But there is, of course, also joy. I know many zealous priests who show great fruit. They managed to gather a lot of people, gathered strong large communities, and in these communities many people came or are coming to faith. Children are raised in the church, new churches and parishes are established, schools are opened. Such communities significantly influence the life of society and the life of the Church.
But, in addition to the social, visible earthly result, organizational, material, spiritual, there is also a spiritual result. What is happening in the Church today? We see that churches, for the most part, are filled, such communities fill them, even open new churches and restore them. But who are they filled with? Believers, Orthodox people, who often take communion, want to confess often... And yet there is something very sad in this. You can bring people to a certain level, and then they stop and can’t go any further. And this level is not that high. Usually this is the level of people who do not commit mortal sins, do not commit fornication, do not drink, do not steal, do not cast spells, do not beat their parents, do not swear, maybe do not even smoke. They receive communion often, but when you look at these people, you don’t see that the person is growing further and ascending from strength to strength, drawing closer to Christ. Only the initial work has been done, something preliminary...
It's sad that the real fruits are not visible. After all, truly every Christian, every person is called to holiness. In other words, all those who come to the Church, who begin to live the church life, must gradually become spiritual people, righteous, saints. But this is not the case. It is clear that our church life and pastoral work are limited to some very low limit, which turns out to be insurmountable for many of us.
A parallel can be drawn. Here is some tourist group rising higher and higher into the mountains. At first there are wooded paths, very beautiful gorges, a road, and then, lo and behold, alpine meadows, the forest is gone. You rise even higher and find yourself in a gorge where there is no vegetation, only low-growing bushes, small grass and high snowy mountains from which glaciers slide down. Rivers originate from these glaciers. You reach the place where there is usually a shelter, and then to the pass you need to walk through the snow and climb onto the glacier. And for this you need to have special equipment, boots, ice axes, ropes, a completely different instructor, no longer a tourist, but a climber. And that’s why tourists stop at such a rubicon and don’t go any further. Further on it is mortally dangerous, then another category of difficulty. Tourist walks end at this level. Let's say, such a tourist can reach a height of two and a half, three thousand meters. But you can’t climb to a height of four thousand if you are not a climber. They don’t let you in there, you can’t, but if you climb in, you’ll kill yourself.
Something similar is visible in our church life. Our church life brings us to a certain height. Here we run with confidence, jump, work, build something, arrange something. But all this is up to a certain point. So what is next? We don't know how to continue to live. And it turns out that there are practically no instructors or guides who know how to continue living, they are inaccessible. And if they exist, then there are only one or two of them, and it is no longer possible to get to them; these are such holy elders, of whom there are, perhaps, only three people left in all of Russia. Ordinary good priests, spiritual fathers, can still do this, but then they can no longer do it. They don’t know how to teach mental prayer, because they don’t pray themselves, they don’t have time, they work as foremen, and teachers, and who knows what else, but they don’t pray, they don’t have time. They do not know how to teach how to overcome their passions truly, to the end, they do not know how to teach how to live in the presence of God, how to teach how to live according to the will of God, they do not know how to hear the will of God.
And a sad, heavy feeling of limitation arises. A person who has tried, is trying to live a spiritual life, probably knows this feeling, the feeling of his bankruptcy. In fact, it turned out that you don’t know how to do anything, you don’t know that you swaggered and swaggered like this... In general, you really couldn’t do anything.
Is there any way out? Is there anything to hope for? The answer must be given objectively and honestly - we have little hope here. It must be admitted that we have lived to a period of church history when many things have become impossible and beyond our reach, many exploits have moved away from us, become unthinkable and impossible for us. You probably remember what is said about the last times, that these times will be so difficult that if anyone only calls on the Name of the Lord at this time, he will be saved. You won’t need anything at all, but only at this terrible moment to call on the Name of God, and then you will be saved due to the terrible difficult circumstances of the time.
Each time has its own level of difficulty and its own spiritual achievements. The Lord will not impute to us that we do not reach such levels, such righteousness, holiness, as the ancient saints.
But the same thing is required from us as from them - a feat is required. Our feat will not be as fruitful as theirs. When the Monk Seraphim labored in the Sarov forests, he achieved perfection and high holiness. And when priests and bishops sat in camps in these same forests, they did not achieve such perfection there, such insight, such miracles. But their feat was, perhaps, no less. This is another feat and other fruits of this feat. And the Lord will credit them with their feat as holiness.
You know, people say: “You do your job, and if you don’t know how to do something, then an Angel will do it for you, if you really put in all your strength.” When a person works and lives by feat, then limitation is removed and goes away. The Lord, with His grace, fills everything necessary besides man and besides the priest. Everything that a priest cannot give will be given by God if this priest really works, i.e. lives by feat.
It very often happens that spiritual children begin to be disappointed in something; they also do not know how to live by feat, they do not want to. They are not looking for spiritual life, spiritual achievement, they are looking for some kind of comfort, some kind of special relationship. They stop looking for humility and obedience, but begin to demand from their confessor that he understand them, that he devote time to them, that he listen to them, that he talk to them endlessly, that he treat them somehow, they begin to be rude, to defy your confessors. Nowadays this happens very, very often.
Essentially, we must admit that there are very few spiritual children. There are almost none. There may be a huge crowd of people, but these are not spiritual children. Spiritual children who are not even going to live a spiritual life. If a so-called spiritual child is rude to his confessor, then this is not a spiritual child, I assure you. In the same way, if a spiritual child does not want to obey, you tell him once, twice, three times, but he does not obey, then this, of course, is not a spiritual child, only the name remains.
And here the priest needs to see the light, and clearly admit that something high did not work out, is not working out for him, and boldly say to these so-called spiritual children of his:
- There is no need to deceive each other. If you don’t want it, go somewhere else and that’s it. Why play at obedience, at some kind of relationship. Why do this?
It will be much better, much more honest. Usually the priest comes to this in the end. He begins to avoid these fruitless relationships, relationships that leave only one heaviness in his soul. And that’s why we very often see elderly priests, very good ones, who have almost no spiritual children. Once there were parishes, but in old age there is no one left. Maybe there are two or three people, or maybe five. Why? Because this priest no longer has the strength to confess endlessly, and he can no longer talk, he no longer represents spiritual interest for these spiritual children. And there are very, very few people who really want to obey him, who believe him. There may have been a community of 500 people, but maybe only five remain. The rest all scattered somewhere.
There are very few people who truly want to seek the achievement of spiritual life. The overwhelming majority is looking for spiritual life, spiritual comfort, spiritual relationships, earthly life, not heavenly, does not want to be freed from their passions, does not want to give up their will, does not want to sacrifice anything significant.
There are very few people who want to renounce their will, become obedient, and seek the will of God. And therefore the priest must not allow himself to be misled. Activity is in full swing, everything comes to life, everything grows, churches are built, everything seems to bear fruit, the priest is given awards, he is promoted in rank, everything is exemplary, everything is wonderful. He can believe that everything is truly wonderful... Every shepherd must remember that it will be wonderful only when he draws closer to God, and when his flock also moves towards God, towards spiritual life, towards a life of grace. Then it will only be wonderful when the Divine Liturgy is performed better and better, when a gracious light appears on the conscience, on the soul, when all earthly well-being, earthly achievements, and rewards matter less and less. He will regard all this as nothing if he touches a life of grace, life with God. Now, if he lives like this, then spiritual children will gradually gather to him, who will have the same dispensation. If he is mainly immersed in earthly activities, then his children will be the same, earthly, and not spiritual.
Most of all, a priest should be afraid of substitution, because substitution carries within itself the spirit of Antichrist, instead of the Spirit of Christ.
He must look - but he is not lost, he himself has not forgotten the only correct goal? Is he coming to Christ, and is he ready to sacrifice everything in order to stay with Christ? And he must boldly admit that he knows little, little succeeds, and among those who follow him there are very few true spiritual children. And, while engaging in all kinds of activities, charitable, teaching, organizational, construction, and simply administering services and requirements, the priest must remember one thing that is needed - that the most important thing, which can never be sacrificed, cannot be compromised - real life with God, life of grace. Everything else without a grace-filled life has no value, no meaning and will only give the opposite result.
“Repentance, Confession, Spiritual Guidance.” - M., 2002