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Traits of a tolerant personality. A tolerant and intolerant person. Topic: “Tolerant personality”

Hello, dear readers of the blog site. In modern society (especially the West), tolerance is promoted as a manifestation of civilization and culture of the individual (?).

It would be nice to figure out what it is. Also, is it always necessary to behave tolerantly?

Let's get a look.

The meaning of the word tolerance

In Latin, the word tolerantia means “patience.” What's easier? One of the highest virtues can truly be considered a sign of a civilized modern person - tolerance. However, Wikipedia gives several meanings to the word tolerance. Tolerance, for example:

  1. in sociology it is tolerance for a different worldview, traditions, and rules of behavior. It is separately noted that acceptance, understanding, and a tolerant attitude towards other people’s habits and worldviews do not mean indifference or a change in one’s own principles. This recognition of other people's rights live according to your own convictions;
  2. in medicine, a state of human immunity in which the defense mechanism cannot produce antibodies that resist some antigen. Absolute tolerance- this is death. Think about it, this medical interpretation can easily be attributed to our society (especially today’s European one);
  3. in ecology - the ability of any organisms to adapt to changing environmental factors;
  4. in addiction, pharmacology, immunology – addiction;
  5. in technical sciences - the difference between the maximum permissible values ​​​​set for the characteristics and parameters of parts.

Our contemporaries use this term in a modified form, even as an insult (ending with “...ast” and “...la”), as a sign of disrespect for excessive tolerance. Many pundits reserve the right to condemn and evaluate other people's beliefs and habits that are different from their own and believe that this is tolerance.

Here you need divide into general and specific. For example, I can be tolerant of a person who has committed some other act that is not yet supported in society. It's private. I can humanly feel sorry for him, sympathize with him, and understand him.

But I cannot tolerate the very essence of the crime (I must condemn it). This is general. Here I have the right to judge, to be intolerant, to express my opinion. And no heartfelt speeches about tolerance have the right to shut my mouth. The criminal may be pitiable (remember Yuri Detochkin), but the crime itself is not.

In this regard, I am touched by the attempt, through tolerance, to push into people’s minds the idea that one cannot speak badly, for example, about sexual deviations. Nonsense. I can be tolerant and even good towards someone who has these deviations. But I have the right to challenge, express my opinion and even condemn the very idea of ​​popularizing deviations.

Definition of tolerance in simple words

Moral standards of behavior, determined by people's tolerance, acceptance of principles, faith, traditions, feelings of others, as their inalienable right.

The main thing in tolerance is to recognize the right and freedom to openly express one's views.

That is, to be tolerant is to experience normal human feelings and have a positive attitude towards everything, except for the violation of moral and universal principles.

Interestingly, in 1995, a Declaration outlining the basic principles of tolerance was read and adopted. The document says that tolerance is:

  1. renunciation of aggression;
  2. patience;
  3. calm perception of the world;
  4. philosophical assessment of life principles and manifestations of the character of other people.

This can be said about this definition in simple words. It sounds, however, like an answer to the question: “What does it mean to be human?”, agree. Do not agree? Then we will convince you.

What is included in the concept of “tolerant”

A tolerant person can confidently be considered the most humane because he:

  1. tolerant and compassionate;
  2. merciful and forgiving;
  3. perceiving the shortcomings of others ();
  4. respecting other people's rights and freedoms;
  5. willing to interact;
  6. supporting the principles of partnership and equality of relations.

Sincere commitment to these factors gives a complete picture of the ideal person. This proves the importance of having tolerance in the character of people. The main thing here is not to overdo it and not to use it as a weapon to silence dissidents, to condemn and even discuss certain topics.

I would like to emphasize once again that a tolerant attitude towards specific people is welcome, but tolerance of ideas themselves cannot be imposed that these people are promoting. It is your right to challenge worldviews, scientific dogmas, even religious views and much more. Dispute is the work of the immune system, which helps to give birth to the truth (defeat the virus).

Otherwise tolerance becomes a universal weapon in the hands of those who use it. It can go up to , as is clearly shown in this video:

Tolerance is a multifaceted concept

The use of the term in various fields of activity, science and life is so extensive that its detailed classification must be dealt with separately. Here we note that there are several categories of this concept, for example:

  1. pedagogical;
  2. medical;
  3. scientific;
  4. political;
  5. management and other categories.

In addition, types, species, subtypes and subspecies are common. In psychology, for example, tolerance happens the following types:

  1. Natural - and gullibility, characteristic of the behavior of a little man;
  2. Moral - developing in wise, self-sufficient people. They are tolerant of others;
  3. . Not to be confused with moral. This type shows how much a person trusts others. People with this type of tolerance tend to accept the views and values ​​of others. Such people do not react to scandals and stress;
  4. Ethnic, presupposing a patient attitude towards the customs, culture and way of life adopted by other nationalities. Such people can live for as long as they like in an alien cultural space.

Each of these types is divided into subspecies depending on how a person relates to:

  1. circumstances and their participants;
  2. people according to different characteristics (typological subtype);
  3. employees and colleagues (professional subtype);
  4. to everything in general (collective).

Based on the results of these subtypes, it is analyzed how tolerant a person is.

Intolerance (intolerance) and how to recognize it

In their quest to achieve tolerance, people sometimes lose sight of the fact that do not have moral tolerance, requiring you to accept and forgive other people's views. By force of will, they force themselves to accept other people's beliefs that they cannot tolerate. This happens at the level of moral values, which are suppressed by violence against one’s own personality and are accompanied by stress.

This condition cannot last long. Sometimes a person cannot withstand the tension and breaks down - he acts absolutely intolerantly. He sharply expresses his opinion as the only correct one, rejecting the opinions of others. If this happens to you, you may consider yourself intolerant.

This happens everywhere, we see how people do not accept anyone’s arguments, propagate their own point of view and do not listen to their opponents.

How to recognize a tolerant or intolerant person

Individuals who are characterized by these opposite traits have a number of character traits. To understand whether a person is tolerant or intolerant, pay attention to the following signs:

  1. Sense of humor. The ability to laugh at one's own shortcomings is the most obvious feature of tolerance;
  2. Self-realization. Purposefulness and openness, the ability to respond to requests for help. Intolerant individuals do not empathize, do not know what they want and do not strive to develop;
  3. . Intolerants blame the whole world, and praise themselves, attributing to themselves all sorts of virtues (almost);
  4. A sober assessment of yourself. A tolerant individual knows exactly his shortcomings and wants to get rid of them;
  5. Feeling safe. Openness allows tolerant people to feel protected in society. Intolerant individuals see threats everywhere;
  6. . The search for reason and reason in everything distinguishes a tolerant person; he is not afraid to answer for his own and even for other people’s words and actions;
  7. Democratic. Listen and stick to your guns. Tolerant people will not persuade at any cost. Dictators who are intolerant by nature and subjugate those around them to their worldview.

Is it always necessary to behave tolerantly?

We have all, to one degree or another, encountered manifestations of intolerance in our lives, and this is understandable, because the concept of tolerance for us is something new and came to us from the “enlightened West.” In our society, tolerance was considered a manifestation of softness.

Many people confuse tolerance with forgiveness and mercy in religion. However, the church fathers do not accept tolerance of any point of view; they consider it a threat to moral foundations. And the adoption of a foreign culture is condemned as a danger.

In families, society, and politics of other modern states (especially European ones), we see vivid examples transforming tolerance into permissiveness. As a result, what seemed incredible just ten years ago is now becoming an unquestioned norm.

This makes you wonder if there are boundaries beyond which tolerance does not bring harmony and peace to the individual within? Everyone sets these boundaries for themselves, guided by upbringing, morality, maybe the Law of God and the laws of universal humanity. So, you have something to think about!

Good luck to you! See you soon on the pages of the blog site

You might be interested

What is LGBT - how it stands, what it means, as well as the symbols and colors of the flag of the LGBT movement Pluralism is dissent expressed in political and other spheres (for example, pluralism of opinions) What is generosity and how to develop this quality in yourself What are human rights: the opinion of the UN and scientists What is mercy and how to develop this quality in yourself Freedom is what is given to a person by birthright Humane - what is it, what is humanity, who are humanists and what are their distinctive features What is love - 7 steps of its birth and 10 facts about lovers Who is a transgender and how do people become one? What is happiness and why do people complicate the path to it?

Open lesson on life safety

"What is tolerance?"

Goals:

· introduce students to the concept of “tolerance”, the main features of a tolerant and intolerant personality;

Tasks:

· give students the opportunity to assess the degree of their tolerance;

· development of attention, memory, creative thinking of students;

· fostering a sense of collectivism and cohesion; promote the development of respectful relationships between students.

Target group: 7th grade students – 27 people.

Equipment: forms, board, pencils, box, “candle” (toy).

Lesson duration: 40 minutes.

Teaching methods: conversation, discussion, games, exercises to apply knowledge in practice, testing the assimilation of information on a given topic.

Forms of training: work in a team, in groups.

Work organization:

1. Introductory part.

Greeting, warm-up (5 min.);

2. Main part.

1. Topic message(5 minutes.);

2. Introductory talk(20 minutes.);

3. Summing up the lesson (reflection).

1. Work in groups (10 min).

Class progress

Topic message

Today our conversation is dedicated to tolerance. November 16 is International Day of Tolerance. Not everyone may be familiar with this, and, at first glance, it sounds completely incomprehensible. But the meaning it carries is very important for the existence and development of human society. A modern cultured person is not only an educated person, but a person who has a sense of self-respect and is respected by others. Tolerance is considered a sign of high spiritual and intellectual development of an individual, group, and society as a whole.

Introductory talk

Teacher. Every person is an individual. Scientists believe that personality is made up of three components: your physical body, your image (role) and your character (soul).

No one has been able to formulate exactly what the soul is for many hundreds of years. They say that the soul is a great mystery. The Russian people have a proverb: “Another person’s soul means darkness.” It is not easy to know someone else's soul, someone else's personality, but it is also not easy to know your own soul.

From time to time it is very useful to look into yourself: who am I? what am I? How do I communicate with other people?

To look into our soul, we will learn a new word in class.

It is encrypted with numbers (written on the board). To guess it, you need to name the positive qualities of a person. I will help you interpret these words.

  1. showing care, attention, caring for someone (caring)
  2. easy establishment of contacts (sociability)
  3. attitude imbued with cheerfulness and faith in success (optimism)
  4. joy from life and its manifestations (cheerfulness)
  5. a stable positive attitude towards life (positivism)
  6. desire to do good to others (kindness)
  7. compassion (mercy)
  8. respectful attitude (respect)
  9. willingness to understand another, to help him (responsiveness)

Children With the help of the teacher, they name positive qualities and decipher the word.

The etymology of the term “tolerance” (from the Latin tolerantia) goes back to the Latin verb tolero - “to carry, hold”, as well as “to carry, preserve, feed, stay.” The original meaning of tolero is “to carry, hold” something in one’s hands. Consequently, everything that we hold in our hands or carry through life requires from us efforts and the ability to “endure”, suffer, endure. All this is our “endurance” in relation to adverse external influences, patience.

Tolerance (from Latin "toleran") - patience, tolerance, forbearance. The Dictionary of Foreign Languages ​​interprets it as patience towards other people's opinions and beliefs. Today, tolerance is considered in the context of such concepts as recognition, acceptance, understanding.

Confession- this is the ability to suddenly see another person, as a bearer of other values, a different logic of thinking, and other forms of behavior.

Adoption- this is a positive attitude towards such differences.

Understanding- this is the ability to see another from the inside, the ability to look at his world simultaneously from two points of view: your own and his.

Let's look at another very simple situation. “Two friends had an argument while talking about their pets. One likes cats, the other likes dogs. After a fight, they don’t talk to each other.” Because of which?

Studying: did not understand each other, did not want to accept the opinion of the interlocutor.

Teacher: Who do you think is right?

Studying: Nobody.

Teacher: What would you do in their place?

Studying: Accept each other's opinions and understand that all people have different tastes.

Teacher: Guys, we are all different people, we all have different tastes, habits, different talents. No one is worse or better, he is just different - a unique individual. Therefore, we must appreciate and love each other for who they are, that is, be tolerant towards each other.

So tolerance implies that we must accept people as they are, make friends and communicate with them on the basis of mutual understanding, sympathy and agreement.

What qualities should a tolerant person have?

A tolerant person is able to understand and forgive people; he respects other people’s habits, feelings, culture, customs, and traditions. Today is the beginning of a new school year. Tell me how tolerance can be manifested during school time in relation to peers. (teachers)? What school subjects do you think most clearly teach to be tolerant? Why?

Look at the definition of tolerance:

  • Willingness to put up with other people's opinions;
  • Respect for human dignity;
  • Accepting others as they are;
  • The ability to put oneself in the place of another;
  • Respect for the right to be different;
  • Tolerance for other people's opinions and behavior;
  • Refusal to cause harm and violence.

Let's discuss them. What do these rules suggest we should be?

The division of people into tolerant and intolerant is quite arbitrary. Extreme positions are quite rare. Every person in his life commits both tolerant and intolerant actions. Nevertheless, the tendency to behave tolerantly or intolerantly can become a stable personality trait, which makes it possible to distinguish between tolerant and intolerant personalities and characterize them.

1. Knowing yourself. Tolerant people know more about their strengths and weaknesses. Being critical of themselves, they do not strive to blame others for all their troubles.

Psychologists have found that a tolerant person has a significantly larger gap between the “ideal self” (that is, the idea of ​​what I would like to become) and the “real self” (the idea of ​​what I am) than an intolerant person. (whose “ideal self” and “real self” practically coincide). Tolerant people know themselves better, not only their strengths, but also their shortcomings, and therefore are less satisfied with themselves. In this regard, their potential for self-development is higher. An intolerant person notices more advantages than disadvantages in himself, therefore he is more likely to blame others for all problems.

2. Security. It is difficult for an intolerant person to live in harmony, both with himself and with other people. He fears his social environment and even himself, his instincts. There seems to be a feeling of constant threat hanging over him. A tolerant person usually feels safe. Therefore, he does not seek to defend himself from other people and groups. The absence of a threat or the belief that it can be dealt with is an important condition for the formation of a tolerant personality.

3. Responsibility. An intolerant person believes that the events that occur do not depend on him. He has no control over fate. He is convinced, for example, that astrology explains many things. It is easier for him to think that something is happening to him, and not by him. Tolerant people, on the contrary, are convinced that fate depends not on the location of the stars, but on themselves. Tolerant people do not shift responsibility to others, they bear it themselves. Intolerant people strive to relieve themselves of responsibility for what happens to them and around them. This feature is associated with the desire to blame others for everything and underlies the formation of prejudices against other groups - “it is not I who hate and harm others, it is they who hate and harm me.”

4. Need for certainty. Intolerant individuals divide the world into two parts - black and white. For them there are no half-tones, there are only two types of people - bad and good, only one correct path in life. They emphasize the differences between in-groups and out-groups. They cannot be neutral about anything; they either approve of everything that happens or not. A tolerant person, on the contrary, recognizes the world in its diversity and is ready to listen to any point of view.

5. Self-orientation - orientation towards others. It was found that a tolerant person is more self-oriented in work, in fantasies, in the creative process, and in theoretical reflections. In problematic situations, tolerant people tend to blame themselves rather than others. Such people strive for personal independence more than for belonging to external institutions and authorities, since they do not need to hide behind someone.

Research by psychologists has shown that the desire to belong to social institutions among intolerant people is much stronger than among tolerant people. Thus, girls with anti-Semitic sentiments are more likely to form sisterhoods, more religious, and more patriotic. Many studies find a positive connection between a person's existence of prejudices and high “patriotism.” The connection between nationalism and hatred of minorities in Nazi Germany was shown.

6. Commitment to order. Psychologists have discovered that an intolerant person places too much importance on cleanliness, good manners, and politeness. It is important for him that everything is in order. For tolerant people, these qualities are not of such great value and fade into the background.

The Nazis assigned an extremely important role to virtue. Hitler preached asceticism. In accordance with Nazi beliefs, a person's entire life had to proceed according to protocol. Jews were constantly reproached for dishonesty, immorality, and uncleanliness.

An intolerant person not only loves order in general, he especially loves social order. In his affiliation with a party, nationality, group, he finds the security and certainty that he so needs. This affiliation gives him protection from constant anxiety.

7. The ability to empathize. The ability to empathy is defined as social sensitivity, the ability to make correct judgments about other people.

What is the basis of empathic abilities is not precisely defined. Perhaps this is a product of a favorable family atmosphere, developed aesthetic feelings, and high social values.

One of the experimental studies revealed the ability to empathize in tolerant and intolerant students. For 20 minutes, students of the same gender and age talked about various topics with each other in private. Everyone formed their own idea of ​​their interlocutor. After the conversation, the experimenter asked the students to fill out a questionnaire that revealed the degree of tolerance for their interlocutor. It turned out that intolerant students evaluated their partners in the experiment based on their own beliefs, that is, the partners looked more intolerant in their eyes than they actually were. Tolerant students turned out to be more accurate in their judgments about people - they more adequately assessed both tolerant and intolerant interlocutors.

8. Sense of humor. A sense of humor and the ability to laugh at oneself is an important trait of a tolerant person. Someone who can laugh at themselves has less need to feel superior to others.

9. Authoritarianism. For an intolerant person, social hierarchy is very important. An intolerant person believes that external discipline is extremely important. When American students were asked to name people they considered great, intolerant students named the names of leaders who had power and control over others (Napoleon, Bismarck), while tolerant students were more likely to name artists and scientists (Chaplin, Einstein). An intolerant person is satisfied with life in an orderly, authoritarian society with strong power. An intolerant person believes that external discipline is extremely important. A tolerant person prefers to live in a free, democratic society.

Kahramanova Oksana Vladimirovna, teacher-psychologist

KGUSSH No. 42, Petropavlovsk, North Kazakhstan region

Psychological event for high school students

“What is a tolerant person?”

Goals: teach children how to resolve controversial issues without conflict; cultivate sensitivity and tolerance towards other people.

Preparation for the event: the “Level of Personality Conflict” test and its analysis are carried out (see additional material).

Epigraph on the board:

If you're hot as a teapot

Or hot-tempered like a carpet,

Ask them to cool it down

Or they knocked you out.

G. Oster

Progress of the event

  1. Introductory part

Psychologist. To understand what kind of personality we call tolerant and how it differs from intolerant, you need to know what tolerance is. Translated from Latin, tolerance means patience. In modern psychological literature there are many definitions of this concept (referring to the poster):

T – tolerance for other opinions, beliefs and behavior;

O – refusal to cause harm and violence;

L – the best quality of a person;

E – unity, mutual understanding, friendship;

R – equality of peoples and races;

A – altruism;

N – not indifference to people around you;

T – creative communication;

N – our world;

O – responsibility for what happens to us and around us;

C – respect for human rights;

T – tolerance for differences;

b – sensitivity and condescension.

  1. Lecture-conversation about tolerance

Psychologist. Now let’s figure out how a tolerant person differs from an intolerant one. These differences

(according to G. Allport) quite a lot.

  1. Knowing yourself. Tolerant people try to understand their strengths and weaknesses. They treat themselves critically and do not strive to blame others for all their troubles and misfortunes. Intolerant people notice more advantages in themselves than disadvantages. They tend to blame others for their problems. Psychologists have found that a tolerant person has a much larger gap between “I am ideal” (the idea of ​​what I would like to become) and “I am real” (the idea of ​​what I am) than an intolerant person who has both selves are practically the same. Tolerant people, knowing about their strengths and weaknesses, are less satisfied with themselves, but their potential for self-development is higher.
  2. Security. It is difficult for an intolerant person to live in harmony not only with others, but also with himself. He is afraid of his social environment, afraid of his instincts, feelings, and lives with a feeling of constant threat to himself. A tolerant person usually feels safe and therefore does not seek to defend himself from other people. The absence of a threat or the belief that it can be dealt with is an important condition for the formation of a tolerant personality.
  3. Responsibility. An intolerant person believes that the events that occur do not depend on him. He seeks to relieve himself of responsibility for what happens to him and around him. This feature leads to the formation of prejudices towards other people. The position is this: I don’t hate and harm people, it is they who hate and harm me. Tolerant people do not shift responsibility to others; they are always ready to answer for their actions.
  4. Need for definition. Intolerant individuals divide the world into two parts: black and white. There are no halftones for them. There are only two kinds of people: bad and good. They emphasize the differences between “us” and “outsiders.” It is difficult for them to treat events neutrally. They either approve of them or they don't. A tolerant person, on the contrary, sees the world in all its diversity.
  5. Self-Orientation – Other-Orientation. Tolerant people are more self-oriented in their work, creative process, and theoretical reflections. In problematic situations, they tend to blame themselves rather than others. Such people strive for personal independence more than for belonging to external institutions and authorities, because they do not need to hide behind someone.
  6. The ability to empathize. This ability is defined as social sensitivity, the ability to formulate correct judgments about other people.

One experimental study revealed the ability to empathize in tolerant and intolerant people. For 20 minutes, students of the same gender and age talked about various topics with each other in private. Everyone formed their own idea of ​​their interlocutor. It turned out that intolerant students evaluated their partners in their own image and likeness. Tolerant students turned out to be more accurate in their judgments and adequately assessed their interlocutors.

  1. Sense of humor. A sense of humor and the ability to laugh at oneself are important traits of a tolerant person. Such people know how to laugh at their shortcomings and do not strive for superiority over others.
  2. Authoritarianism. For an intolerant person, social hierarchy is extremely important. When students were asked to name great people, from their point of view, the intolerant ones named the names of political leaders who had power over others, and the tolerant ones named the names of scientists and artists. An intolerant person is satisfied with life in an authoritarian society with strong power, where strict discipline reigns. A tolerant person prefers to live in a free, democratic society.

Thus, There are two ways of personality development: tolerant and intolerant. The intolerant path is characterized by the idea of ​​one’s own exclusivity, the desire to shift responsibility to others, a sense of impending threat, and an exaggerated need for order and power.

The tolerant way- this is the path of a person who knows himself well and therefore recognizes the right of others to personal and individual characteristics. A good attitude towards yourself coexists with a positive attitude towards others and a friendly attitude towards the world.

III. Practical part

Exercise 1. Tell me something nice

Tasks: increase self-esteem; get support from the group; develop social intuition, sensitivity, understanding of another person.

Procedure: everyone takes turns telling the neighbor on the right something good about him (a compliment), and he agrees with him, saying the words: “Yes, and I also...”, and says something good about himself.

Exercise 2. Magic shop

Task: give participants the opportunity to find out what qualities they lack in order to consider themselves a truly tolerant person.

Procedure: the facilitator asks the group members to imagine that there is a shop in which there are very unusual things (name signs hang on the board): patience, forbearance, goodwill towards others, a sense of humor, sensitivity, trust, altruism, self-control, goodwill , humanism, listening skills, curiosity, empathy. The presenter acts as a seller who exchanges one quality for another. One of the participants is called. He may choose one or more things that he does not have. As payment, the seller asks in return for what the person has in abundance. For example, a buyer asks the seller for patience. The seller figures out how much he needs and why, and in what cases he wants to be patient. The buyer offers a sense of humor, which he has in abundance, as payment.

Exercise 3. How to be tolerant in a conflict situation?

Task: teach constructive ways to resolve conflict situations.

Procedure: before the exercise, the facilitator introduces the participants to the rules for getting out of a conflict situation (you can distribute printed sheets to everyone).

Rule 1. Control your own emotions, which prevent you from assessing what is happening.

Rule 2. Analyze the real causes of the conflict, sometimes they are hidden under imaginary ones.

Rule 3. Strive to narrow the area of ​​contradictions to a minimum.

Rule 4. Do not get carried away with self-defense, this prevents you from noticing changes in the situation and behavior of the enemy in a dispute in a timely manner.

Rule 5. Reformulate your opponent’s arguments, translate them into a language you understand, highlighting the main thing.

Rule 6. Show sufficient activity while maintaining a calm emotional tone of communication.

Participants form pairs: one acts as the offended person, the other as the offender. Participants act out the proposed situations. Using the proposed rules, the offended person tries to get out of the situation with dignity.

Examples of situations to play out

  1. Mom scolded her son in front of his friends for not washing the dishes. What should he do?
  2. You shared a secret with your best friend, and later found out that he told his friends about everything. How will you behave?
  3. Mom doesn’t let you go outside, but your friends are already waiting. You promised to help them a long time ago. What will you do?
  4. The teacher punished you unfairly and calls your parents to school. What will be your reaction?

Sample. Situation 1

1 – Start the conversation with a specific description of the situation that does not suit you: “When my mother yelled at me in front of my friends...”

  1. Express the feelings that arose in connection with this situation and the person’s behavior towards you: “... I felt uncomfortable.”
  2. Tell the person what you would like him to do. Offer him another behavior option that suits you: “Please, next time, don’t make your comments in front of my friends...”
  3. Say how you will behave if the person changes his behavior: “...then I will listen to your comments.”

During the discussion, group members express their opinions about whose solution to the situation was the most successful. The group comes to the conclusion that the culture of behavior in a dispute presupposes the need to listen carefully to the other side and respect the other point of view.

Exercise 4. Danish boxing

Task: teach how to constructively express aggression when defending interests in a dispute.

Procedure: participants are divided into pairs and stand opposite each other at arm's length. Then they clench their hand into a fist, bending their thumb, and press it against their partner’s fist. They stand as if attached to each other. So, eight fingers are pressed against each other, and the thumbs enter into battle. First they are directed vertically upward, then they begin boxing. The winner is the one whose thumb touches his partner's hand for at least a second. After this, you can start the next round. IV. Summing up the conversation

Psychologist.At the end of our conversation, I would like to read you the advice of the famous teacher V.A. Sukhomlinsky. I hope they will help you build relationships with other people correctly in life.

Be tolerant of individual human weaknesses and irreconcilable with evil. Tolerance and intransigence are very important elements of spiritual culture. Sometimes you have to be able to pretend that you don’t notice the human weaknesses in your neighbors, especially the elderly, this expresses your moral upbringing.

Some people's personal lives are not going well. Know how to feel and understand the special vulnerability of such a person and do not flaunt your happiness and well-being in front of him. Modesty and moderation in joy and well-being are a very valuable trait that testifies to your decency.

You live among people. Don’t forget that your every action, your every desire is reflected in the people around you. Check your actions by asking yourself: are you doing harm and inconvenience to people? Make the people around you feel good.

Additional material

Test“Level of personality conflict”

Guys! When answering a question, select one answer option, under a specific letter, write down the letter after the question number.

  1. Is it typical for you to strive for dominance, that is, to subjugate others to your will?

b) when and how;

  1. Are there people in your team who are afraid of you, and perhaps even hate you?

b) find it difficult to answer;

  1. Who are you most?

a) pacifist;

b) principled;

c) enterprising.

  1. How often do you have to make critical judgments?

b) periodically;

  1. What would be most characteristic of you if you were to lead a new team?

a) would develop a team development program for the year ahead and convince team members of its promise;

b) would study who is who and establish contact with the leaders;

c) would consult with people more often.

  1. In case of failure, what state is typical for you?

a) pessimism;

b) bad mood;

c) self-resentment.

  1. Is it typical for you to strive to defend and observe the traditions of your team?

b) most likely, yes;

  1. Do you consider yourself to be one of the people who would rather tell the bitter truth to their face than remain silent?

b) most likely, yes;

  1. Of the three personality traits you struggle with, the one you most often try to overcome is:

a) irritability;

b) touchiness;

c) intolerance of criticism of others.

  1. Who are you most?

a) independent;

c) idea generator.

  1. What kind of person do your friends think you are?

a) extravagant;

b) an optimist;

c) persistent.

  1. What do you struggle with most often?

a) with injustice;

b) with bureaucracy;

c) with selfishness.

  1. What characterizes you most?

a) I underestimate my abilities;

b) I evaluate my abilities objectively;

c) I overestimate my abilities.

  1. What brings you to clash and conflict with people?

a) excessive initiative;

b) excessive criticality;

c) excessive straightforwardness.

Processing test results. All answers to each question have their own score. Replace the letters you choose with points and calculate their total.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
A 1 3 1 3 3 2 3 3 2 3 2 3 2 1
B 2 2 3 2 2 3 2 2 1 1 1 2 1 2
IN 3 1 2 1 1 1 1 1 3 2 3 1 3 3

A certain amount of points characterizes the level of conflict of an individual:

14-17 points – very low; 18-20 points - low;

21-23 points – below average;

24-26 points – closer to average;

17-29 points - average;

30-32 points – above average;

33-35 points – above average;

36-38 points – high;

39-42 points – very high.

Describe the signs of a tolerant personality

1. Self-awareness, understanding the motivation of one’s own actions. Such individuals tend to analyze their strengths and weaknesses. When troubles happen, they don't care about blaming others for the same. They tend to be overly critical of themselves. It is worth noting that within each person there is an “ideal self” (the way you wanted to be) and a “real self” (you at the moment). So, for a tolerant person there is a huge difference between these two concepts, which means that they often do not coincide.

2. Such individuals have a feeling of safety and security. They do not seek to close themselves off from society, to run away from it.

3. As for responsibility, tolerant people do not shift it to others.

4. They tend to perceive the world around them in a wide range of colors, without dividing people into good and bad.

5. Personal independence, focusing, first of all, on oneself, both in thinking and in work.

6. A tolerant person is able to feel the mental state of another. The concept of empathy is not alien to him.

7. Laugh at yourself? Easily. He will find a flaw in himself and will definitely laugh at it, assuring himself that he will certainly find a way to get rid of this flaw

What qualities are inherent in an intolerant person?

1. It is difficult for an intolerant person to live in harmony both with himself and with other people. He fears his social environment and even himself, his instincts. There seems to be a feeling of constant threat hanging over him.

2. An intolerant person believes that the events that occur do not depend on him. He has no control over fate. He is convinced, for example, that astrology explains many things. It is easier for him to think that something is happening to him, and not by him. Intolerant people strive to relieve themselves of responsibility for what happens to them and around them. This feature is associated with the desire to blame others for everything and underlies the formation of prejudices against other groups - it is not I who hate and harm others, it is they who hate and harm me.

3. Intolerant individuals divide the world into two parts - black and white. For them there are no half-tones, there are only two types of people - bad and good, only one correct path in life. They emphasize the differences between in-groups and out-groups. They cannot be neutral about anything; they either approve of everything that happens or not.

4. For an intolerant person, social hierarchy is extremely important. When American students were asked to name people they considered great, intolerant ones named the names of leaders who had power and control over others (Napoleon), while tolerant ones were more likely to name artists and scientists (Chaplin, Einstein). An intolerant person is satisfied with life in an orderly, authoritarian society with strong power. An intolerant person believes that external discipline is extremely important.