Many men ask themselves this question. There are many answers to this question and they are all varied, because every woman is a mystery and not everyone can understand why she avoids meeting a man’s gaze. This is of course not true, there are answers to absolutely any questions!
She's lying
The first thing that comes to mind if a woman does not look at you is that she is clearly deceiving you or hiding something. There is some truth to this hypothesis. The human body is designed in such a way that only the tongue can lie freely and naturally; the speech of an experienced liar is sweeter than a nightingale’s trill. But the human body gives it away. But only a few people can control their gaze. Therefore, perhaps she is deceiving you, but do not rush to draw conclusions, there are still many assumptions ahead.
She's shy
The entire look can reveal the feelings the interlocutor is experiencing. Shy people do not like to advertise their emotions. Analyze the situation, maybe the woman was shy in a conversation with you or did not want you to guess her emotions. These can be pleasant emotions: love, interest, or unpleasant ones: resentment, anger, contempt.
She's excited
Before you ask yourself this question, and go through dozens of assumptions. Take an interest in her current affairs, maybe something happened to her, she has some problems. Help her resolve her difficulties. If this is the reason, most likely, her gaze will be focused only on you in the future.
It's not about her
It's about you. Perhaps you said unpleasant things, tried to find out information from her that she is not ready to disclose. Perhaps you are her boss and criticized her report, or you ex-husband and communicating with you does not please her. In any case, analyze the situation, something will probably become clearer.
She's in love with you
The whole world knows that during sexual arousal. The pupils dilate, even if the object of adoration enters the field of view. Perhaps this is the real reason; she acts, of course, intuitively, trying to hide her interest from you. The instincts in us, although they have moderated their ardor, still live. A true woman will not hunt a man, she will give him this role. She herself can coquettishly avert her eyes to the side, thereby flirting with you.
She is bored
It is quite possible that the topic under discussion is not interesting to her. Men often, in order to impress a woman, talk about topics in which they are well versed, throw around terminology, cite statistics, and rely on numbers. For the fair sex, this is dry and lifeless information. Try changing the subject. Cinema, books, travel, sports are closer to a woman’s heart. Women also love life stories. Tell something funny about yourself or ask about events in her life that she still remembers with warmth in her soul. Perhaps the question of our article will disappear by itself.
Another guess
If a woman in a conversation not only does not look at her opponent, but also covers her eyes or even covers her face with her palms. This is a sure sign that she is tired or wants to concentrate on thinking about some idea. Tries to protect himself from a large flow of information. There is one true one and good way to find out - does not look into the eyes. During the conversation, ask her this question. Direct questions work best. Most likely, she will be surprised and finally look you in the eye. Give her time to answer and you will find out the truth.
Not just about women
Every day we interact with different people. Some people are open and happy to communicate, others prefer to keep everyone at a distance. In any case, knowing a few simple techniques you can win someone over. Psychology has long identified methods by which people can be controlled and the same number of methods to avoid such manipulation.
Direct eye contact during a friendly conversation is the norm, but if there is a need to put pressure on a person or, conversely, to stop feeling depressed, then look at the bridge of your interlocutor’s nose. This method is used by law enforcement officers.
When meeting a new person, remember the color of his eyes. The whole trick is that by paying attention to the color of the iris, we are forced to hold our gaze and extend visual contact for a couple of seconds. This creates a friendly atmosphere. If you want to please a person and evoke good feelings in him, then during the exchange, raise your eyebrows for a second and immediately lower them. This will give the look childishness and innocence. This method should not be used if you want to come across as a business person.
It is interesting to observe the gaze of your interlocutor during a conversation. When a person is asked a question related to emotions, he lowers his gaze, concentrating on himself, as if looking inside himself. If the interlocutor looks away to the side or looks up at the ceiling in response to a question related to feelings, then he is probably coming up with an answer.
There is one trick. If you want to win over a woman who is not friendly towards you, try the following trick. When your boss/grumpy wife/impudent subordinate contradicts you or develops a conflict situation, then imagine as if she is your daughter, your view will change, warmer and this will magically affect your interlocutor. She will soften instantly.
Psychologists say that the right hemisphere of the brain, which is responsible for logic and conscious emotions, is connected to the left eye. The hemisphere that is responsible for unconscious emotions and feelings is connected to the right eye. Therefore, if you are talking to the object of your love, look into the left eye, this way the person will be able to understand you better and accept your feelings. If you are at a business meeting and it is beneficial for you to call your opponent to logic, then look into the right eye.
Author Petya Bukin asked a question in the section Dating, Love, Relationships
The girl avoids eye contact. What does it mean??? and got the best answer
Answer from Daniyar Masenov[master]
Most likely she really likes you and she’s a little shy about you, take a walk with her somewhere in the evening, hug her lightly, tell her some funny story, and then choose the right moment so that it’s just the two of you and no one else, well, not so that you stand near the trash heap or something like that, looking into her eyes, ask her: Why don't you ever look into my eyes? Don't you like them? If she likes you, she will not be able to look at them, and will take her gaze in the other direction. Then you tell her: I really like your eyes and would look into them for many many years to come and never look away from them!
After that, gently and lightly kiss her eyes!
I think I answered your question?
If you have any questions arising from my answer, please write.
Answer from U Nata[active]
I only did this when I was forced to communicate with a person I disliked
Answer from Thinker.[master]
you're probably shining a flashlight in her eyes
Answer from Oliya Balabay[guru]
Either he's shy or he's lying
Answer from Alexey Batishchev[guru]
She is ashamed, or you are killing her, just on the spot
Answer from I_DаLeko_NOT_ @angel_OK?[guru]
he’s shy, which means there’s something behind it...
Answer from Tatyana Makovey[guru]
Either he is shy or he is deceiving.
Answer from Elena[guru]
She probably stole something...
Answer from Lelik[guru]
NOTHING! For example, I generally DO NOT like to look people in the eyes, and this DOESN’T MEAN that I’m lying to them or that I have something to hide (although of course this also happens)!
Answer from A.A.[guru]
The fact that she is shy about you and she likes you. If you want to hit the bull's eye, give her compliments about her eyes and appearance. (Should be embarrassed and most likely fall in love quickly)
Answer from Igor6262[master]
Maybe you got pregnant and say you’re afraid!
Answer from Oliya Dobrynina[guru]
She's hiding something (read sign language or NLP) and read what she doesn't want to say
Answer from Kristina[guru]
He doesn’t love you if he hides his eyes, or has cheated, or doesn’t love you!!
Answer from Lisa Antonova[newbie]
This could be either a good or bad sign for you. Either she really likes you, and she is embarrassed or flirtatious, or she is not inclined to get acquainted (continue acquaintances). At the same time, you need to look at her lips - if she smiles, that means the first thing.
Answer from Elena Dmitrieva[guru]
This usually happens to me: if a person is courting me and I like him, then embarrassment appears!
Answer from [L]Lilit[expert]
So a lot of interesting things are hidden in those eyes...
Answer from User deleted[expert]
If she averts her eyes, it means something is tormenting her... It means she either doesn’t like you anymore, or she has an offer from another guy! I know this myself, because I had such a situation... It’s best to try to lead to a frank conversation!
Hoping to find reciprocity of feelings, we attach great importance to the gestures and facial expressions of those people we like. We are trying to understand what lies behind these or those movements, since each of them may contain the answer to the most important question: “Does he love or does he not love?” Young people are trying to study. Often guys just can’t understand why a girl won’t look her in the eye. Is this a sign of indifference? Or mistrust? Or maybe shyness? This article on female psychology will help you find the answer to these and similar questions.
Why a girl doesn't make eye contact: features of body language
Everyone knows that information is transmitted from one person to another not only through words, but also through so-called non-verbal signals, that is, through facial expressions, gestures, and intonation. According to Allan Pease, author of the best-selling book Body Language, we receive the most information about a person non-verbally. So, in personal communication, the meaning of words is only 10-20% important, and the rest is gestures and facial expressions. Intonation also plays a huge role in communication. In a telephone conversation, we receive only 20% of information by listening to the meaning of words, and 80% comes from intonation.
Indeed, if you think about it, the word “yes” can be said with different sounds and the meaning can change to the opposite.
Through body language we receive data about a person's emotional state. Moreover, as a rule, we “read” the message unconsciously.
For example, we can definitely tell that a person is angry, even if he is silent. Or, on the contrary, we immediately recognize good nature, and we know people who really radiate a good mood. How do we know about this? Very simple. We pay attention to gestures and facial expressions. That’s why it’s so important for lovers to understand what certain signs mean, and many want to learn how to immediately determine why a girl doesn’t make eye contact, or why she sits with her arms crossed over her chest. So, let's look at what these or other nonverbal signals mean.
- Nonverbal ABC
A direct look into the eyes always speaks of the sincerity and open intentions of your interlocutor. Very often, people who want to lie deliberately look directly into the eyes to hide the lie, but they cannot control the movement of the pupils, and therefore an attentive observer will always expose the liar.
But if a girl doesn't look you in the eye, it doesn't mean she's cheating on you. Everyone knows that eyes are a reflection of our soul, so a lowered gaze rather indicates that it is hiding something. But what? But here a lot depends on individual characteristics. Maybe your friend just doesn't want you to notice her interest or attraction. She inside herself cannot understand how she feels about you, and is embarrassed by her confusion.
Or maybe she just doesn’t like the person who spoke to her, and she’s trying to hide her hostility. It may also be that she is not confident in you, is afraid and is not ready to make contact. This way she shows that she needs time to get used to the new situation. But if you have known a girl for a long time, then a glance directed anywhere but at you can have a completely different meaning.
For example, this could be one of . In addition, if you want to understand why a girl doesn’t make eye contact, think about whether your relationship has been on the rocks lately? Maybe you promised something and didn’t deliver? Or did you offend her, for example, gave her a reason for jealousy? However, one sign is clearly not enough to get a general idea of the situation, so let’s look at what else you can pay attention to.
- Additional nonverbal cues
So, if a girl does not make eye contact, you need to pay attention to her posture and facial expression. Firstly, “closed” poses, that is, crossed arms or legs, indicate that she is trying to hide her true feelings. If at the same time the girl moves away from you, trying to maintain a certain distance, this indicates that she is afraid or shy and, perhaps, does not trust you.
If, on the contrary, she does not look you in the eyes, but willingly laughs at jokes, the intonation of her voice, although quiet, is friendly, then she most likely likes you, but she has not yet decided whether to take active steps.
The toe of a shoe turned towards the door can also indicate an attempt to end communication. The fact that a girl is deceiving you may be indicated by restless gestures, hands near her mouth, and some other signs. It is also worth monitoring changes in intonation. As a rule, it is more difficult to control than gestures. For example, you will immediately be able to notice a nervous tone, a voice that is too loud or too quiet, and the like. So, if you pay attention to seemingly insignificant details, you will be able to understand the true feelings that your girlfriend is experiencing.
By studying basic nonverbal signals, you can not only understand how to communicate with your friend, but also learn in any other group. But we must not forget that one or even two signs should not make final conclusions. Still, our gestures are very individual and depend on our upbringing and personal history. In addition to analyzing the girl’s body movements, also try to connect your intuition. In most cases it works flawlessly. If you're worried, for example, body language will help you understand her better.
But still, if you really want to find out the truth, then from the very beginning you should build a relationship based on sincerity, without using any “spy stuff,” even if it is very useful. If you've been communicating for a long time and you're worried about why a girl won't make eye contact, try just asking her about it. Just don’t turn the situation into an interrogation with an investigator. Let her know that you are concerned about her condition, show concern.
If you practically don’t know each other yet, such a question may be regarded as a violation of personal boundaries. And here you will have to rely on your own powers of observation. Listen to yourself, and you will definitely find the right answer and be able to find the key to the heart of any, even the shyest girl.
- Material prepared by: , consultant psychologist (Moscow, Russian State University for the Humanities)
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Women often ask themselves the question about men's reluctance to look them in the eyes. This behavior upsets and instills uncertainty in one’s female attractiveness. A guy who hides his eyes is especially puzzling if the girl feels that he is not indifferent to her. But she also understands that she can wishful thinking and be mistaken about a man’s love. To understand his feelings, she needs additional guidance and concrete confirmation.
Most people don't like eye contact during conversations, and the majority of the population is no exception. During normal communication, people do not look closely into the eyes, making do with fleeting glances. Couples in love and people who do not hide their sexual interest are prone to long-term contact.
Everyone understands the importance of eye contact, but many feel uncomfortable and look away, feeling something like shyness. In addition, a direct gaze can easily be confused with aggressiveness, and people do not want to be thought of as shameless and overly persistent individuals.
Often a person does not want to look his interlocutor in the eyes, because he does not want to be read like an open book.
The psychology of the male gaze is not much different from the general one. But apart from well-known facts, the stronger sex does not want to show some women their feelings. Looking into the guy’s eyes, the girl will see interest and desire in them, but the man is not ready for her to know about his sympathy, since he has nothing to offer her yet.
A man in love looks away for the following reasons:
- 1. He doesn’t want the girl to think that he is only interested in her sexually.
- 2. He is afraid to see indifference in the eyes of his beloved.
- 3. Wants to confess his love, but does not yet dare to do so.
Many girls mistakenly believe that if a guy averts his eyes, then he is insincere or wants to deceive. Psychologists disagree with this opinion, and consider the reluctance to make eye contact to be quite natural and advise not to overwhelm yourself.
Reasons for not wanting eye contact
Eyes are incapable of lying - everyone knows this. They connect a person with the world around him and reflect his state of mind. Many people do not want to reveal their souls even to close people, let alone strangers. Those who have something to hide also do not like to make eye contact, for example:
- treason;
- lie;
- desire to separate forever;
- your bad mood;
- mental pain.
If on a date a man looks away, and it was he who initiated the meeting, the guy is simply shy and timid in the presence of a girl. He fears that she will see the sparkle and desire in his eyes ahead of time and consider them to be lust, which is why he hides them from his interlocutor.
If the relationship has not reached a more intimate level, the man looks away for the following reasons:
| Cause | Explanation |
| Puts himself above others | He believes that eye-to-eye looks humiliate him or take him down a notch. |
| Doesn't take the girl seriously | She is “invisible” to him and does not arouse the slightest interest in him |
| Hides boredom and lack of interest | The lack of eye contact hides boredom and a desire to leave as quickly as possible. |
| Nervous | With prolonged eye contact, he begins to get nervous, irritation and a desire to leave appear. |
| Wants to hide his emotions | One glance can provide more information than several minutes of communication. A man does not want to give away too much information about himself, and believes that a woman will misunderstand his view |
| His gaze is too piercing | The guy knows that his heavy and piercing gaze confuses people and avoids close attention |
| Rich fantasy | She prevents her from adequately assessing the situation, and the guy worries that he will misunderstand the girl, wishful thinking |
Blinking his eyes when talking to a woman, he feels confused and has no further course of action. When he looks left and then right (or vice versa), he is confused and tries to find any words. A man gets embarrassed when he meets his eyes if a woman is just a friend to him.
Additional gestures
Gestures and postures that accompany communication will help you understand a man’s feelings and desires. How he stands and where his hands are at this moment are additional non-verbal signals that help to understand the feelings of the man you like.
Already in the fifth grade, I could accurately determine which classmate liked me and which classmate I liked. And by the last year of the institute I realized that without words I could understand whether the girl I met was in the mood for acquaintance and romance.
DISTORTED ANGLE
Once a colleague called me a heartthrob, a Don Juan and a ladies' man. “And this is all about me?” — I was sincerely surprised. “At parties,” she said, “you easily meet the most beautiful girls, and not one in my memory turned you away.” Her words flattered me, although they did not correspond to reality. I'm not a heartthrob. And I don’t meet the most beautiful girls, but those who want to meet. That's why I almost never get rejected.
You may have noticed that obvious beauties are much more likely to be alone than “just pretty girls.” Because real beauties are unapproachable. Or they want to appear as such - and therefore they very carefully monitor their gestures and facial expressions. And the rest give free rein to their instincts. Their body constantly sends sexual signals. Of course, hidden. You yourself may not be aware that you are sending them. But the man sees them and comes to you. But he doesn’t go to a beauty who “has everything under control.” That’s why it is believed that beauty and sex appeal are two big differences. And “don’t be born beautiful” is also why. Men prefer happy people.
The oldest female sex signal is an upright posture. As soon as a noteworthy representative of the stronger sex comes into the girl’s field of vision, she immediately straightens her back. This causes the stomach to retract, and the chest, on the contrary, to protrude, which in itself is very erotic.
The next primitive gesture is throwing your hair behind your back. It's like you're exposing your neck for a kiss. And if you have short hair and nothing to put back, you will play with the chain or beads on your neck, fidget with the earrings in your ears... By playing with jewelry and stroking yourself, you give yourself pleasant tactile sensations. You want a man to do the same. And the man’s instinct kicks in: he needs to come up and ask for the phone number.
PSYCHOLOGIST'S COMMENT:
In fact, women are much more sensitive to “subconscious signals” than men. And if you are not averse to meeting a young man, it means that you have already noticed that he himself is showing interest in you.
COMING TO CONSCIOUSNESS
Now let's talk about conscious gestures. And don’t try to convince me that while talking to me, without any hidden intent, you undid the top button on your blouse, that your shoe inadvertently slipped off your heel and began to swing on your toes. I will never believe this! From your manipulations with clothes, I can only draw one conclusion: you want to undress in my presence. Any psychologist will tell you that when face to face with a man who is unpleasant, a woman tries to fasten all the buttons tightly, pull the collar of her jacket up to her ears, and certainly will not play with her shoes.
PSYCHOLOGIST'S COMMENT:
Conscious provocations do not always produce the expected effect. This is especially true for openness in clothing. Successful men are already tired of the seductive behavioral cliches of girls, and a slight mysterious closeness can be a good contrast. An outfit (or gesture) that is too revealing can be just as off-putting as one that is too covered.
PERSONAL MIRROR
I rest my elbow on the table. You do the same. I interlock my fingers and rest my chin on them. You repeat. I light a cigarette. And you reach for the pack. Well... Your signal has been received - you like me. I mean, it doesn’t mean that I’m gloatingly thinking, “Yeah, gotcha!” Nothing like this. Mirroring is most often perceived by a man on a subconscious level, and gives him a feeling of comfort. “We act the same” stands for “we are right for each other.”
PSYCHOLOGIST'S COMMENT:
Mirroring is the first step of adjusting to a man. But then you should subjugate your interlocutor - so that he subconsciously wants to mirror you. If you succeed, then you have achieved success.
COMFORT ZONE
In psychology there is such a concept - “comfort zone”. It denotes our personal space, into which we do not want to allow strangers. For the average European and American, the radius of the zone is 60 cm. Anyone will feel uncomfortable when someone alien and unpleasant tries to “cross the border.” The natural reaction is to recoil, retreat, keep your distance... Unless, of course, the “invader” seems sexually attractive to you. Any man knows: if a woman has invaded his personal space, in other words, moved closer to him than expected, she likes him. She wants him. Her step towards him is a very clear sexual signal.
To penetrate his personal space, by the way, it is not necessary to move your whole body closer. You can reach out and brush a speck off his shoulder. And don’t chalk it all up to “it happened by accident.” No girl will willingly touch a stranger. Well, there’s a speck on his jacket, let him brush it off himself.
PSYCHOLOGIST'S COMMENT:
And sometimes girls invade a man’s comfort zone, pouring a cocktail on him, dropping ice cream and other food. It’s risky, but the effect can be strong - a girl who ruins your suit is remembered for a long time.
EYES TO EYES
Only the stupidest representatives of the stronger sex do not understand why a girl looks away, not wanting to meet a man. “She doesn’t like me so much that she even hates to look at me,” decides some oaf of men. A normal macho man understands: if a girl looks away, it means she is shy. And if she is shy about him, it means she likes him.
PSYCHOLOGIST'S COMMENT:
There is a classic algorithm of eye movements that our grandmothers used: to the corner - to the nose - to the object. Sometimes this technique helps a girl pretend to be interested, even if she really isn’t...
ALIEN WOMAN
You meet me on the street, in the office, at a party... Here I am - in all my glory and in full height. You glance at me. I don’t notice any interest in myself in him. The signal has been received: you are head over heels in love with someone else... At least I will be consoled by this.
A woman in love (read: happy) is a magnet for men. Her gait is graceful, her gestures are smooth, her eyebrows are not drawn together in a spasm of bitchiness to the bridge of her nose. She is confident in her attractiveness, so she flirts easily and with pleasure. Science explains the attractiveness of a woman in love through the action of phenylethylamine, a substance that accelerates the process of transmitting impulses. In lovers, this substance is produced above the norm. And deprives them of peace. It is difficult for a lover to sit still, he constantly moves, smiles, strokes himself... And for a woman it turns out to be especially erotic. She, without knowing it, constantly sends sexual signals to others.